One & Twenty | self-esteem. weight loss journey. natural hair.

Update!

2012-02-21T12:21:00.001-05:00

So, a lot has gone on since the last time I blogged:

I finished my personal 30 Day Daily Exercise Challenge. Woooooooo! I honestly enjoy working out now, but I completely and totally enjoyed getting an amazing break from exercise this weekend.
While on vacation, I tried out Kinky-Curly Knot Today Conditioner when I found it in a NJ beauty supply store. O... M... G!!!!!This conditioner is AMAZING! I love it so much that I now use it and the custard as my sole two products for everything. I've gotten rid of mostly everything else in my bathroom cabinet with the exception of a stock of bottles of Bed Head that I will use during the summer for daily cowashing. Once I use those up, however, I will probably stick to KCKT solely. I can't believe how long I slept on this product. It's moisturizing, smooth, and smells great! And it's glycerin- and aloe-free, so I can use it all year-round. I know for sure that when I go full CG in 2013 that I will most definitely be using the Knot Today and Curling Custard as my two main products (along with henna, of course).
I ate pretty terribly this weekend but I had SUCH an amazing time this weekend with my friends in New Jersey. I will put together a slideshow and post it on here. It was great getting to catch up and laugh and joke. I haven't laughed that much in a LONG time. I was actually getting tired and annoyed at laughing so much! It was a good time.
I start training for the Run in Remembrance today after work! I joined the 5K Your Way Rookie Running Plan on Sparkpeople, so I am starting off with interval jogging/walking. I made a playlist that cycles through the songs (slow songs for walking, and fast songs for jogging) to make it easier than having to check my watch every minute to know when I am supposed to change my pace. I am going to pick up some running pants and a new sports bra and get started. I also found a meal plan for runners here that I will be following to make sure I get the correct balance of protein, fat, and complex carbs. As I said before, I will no longer follow the Impatient Diet, and am opting for clean, organic food sources.
I will be weighing in on a weekly basis from now on (Tuesdays), so I will update next Tuesday. I'm sure I gained weight from the weekend (especially after just getting off of the liquid diet), but I don't mind. I had a blast. I didn't overdo it too much, and I am still further along than I was when I first started my journey.

Welp... Today was the Day

2012-02-15T18:10:00.002-05:00

I figured I'd fall off track one day, and it just so happened to be today.

Good News: My appetite finally came back

Bad News: I appeased it with two slices of large pizza and two chicken strips

Ah well... it's a journey.

I'll definitely have shakes readily available tomorrow now that I'm finally hungry again.

Impatient Diet Day 6

2012-02-15T07:26:00.003-05:00

Weight: 152.8 (-1 lb)

I can't believe I am almost at the 10-lb mark!

This diet is pretty phenomenal.

I know, however, that I am losing weight too quickly, and this is really not the way I want to lose weight, since it doesn't teach me how to eat food and lose weight.

Also, since my appetite has been so bad, I know I can't stretch this diet beyond the 7 days because I start training for the Run in Remembrance on Monday. I can't run 40 minutes if I'm only taking in minimal calories like I have been for the past few days. I know I have to feed my body because this is one goal I refuse to give up on.

Clean Eating Meal Plan (2/21 - 2/24)

2012-02-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

I'm one of those people that can eat the same thing everyday for about a week before I get tired of it, which is convenient because I can make one cooking session last. I've just begun planning to eat the same menu for a week, which saves time and effort. I only have to cook dinner and do the work of calorie-counting, carb-counting, measuring, etc once a week.

So really, I have no excuse to not cook for myself. I've always loved cooking, but I feel like I don't have a lot of time (and I hate the clean-up!). However, I know I can spare at least one afternoon/evening. I'm worth that much.

I'll be eating mostly clean and organic, which means I am looking to avoid chemicals, long ingredients lists, and white grains (flour, rice, and pasta). You can define what "clean eating" means to you.

Next week, I won't be getting back in town until late on Monday night and have a family party to attend, and I'll be going out of town again after work on the 24th.

So that equates to 4 breakfasts, 4 lunches, and 3 dinners that I must prepare next week.

Breakfast

Hardboiled Organic Brown Egg

Organic Greek Yogurt

Cling Peaches in 100% Juice

Lunch

Turkey Sandwich made with organic bread, meat, cheese, and veggies

Organic Baby Carrots

Grapefruit in 100% Juice

Dinner

Maple-Glazed Salmon made with mostly organic ingredients

Sticky Rice (not organic and is a white carb - will switch to brown when it runs out)

Organic Broccoli

Snack

Organic Granola Bar

Calories: 1200

Carbs: 144

Fat: 30

Protein: 87

Impatient Diet Day 5 Wrap-Up

2012-02-14T19:02:00.000-05:00

Weight: 153.8 (-0 lbs)

My appetite has really not improved at all. I got through one meal, and am now trying to finish a shake. I doubt I will get through a second one before bed.

I really don't know what to think at this point.

In any case, I am definitely giving up the Impatient Diet after this week. I had plenty of good reasons to continue but I just don't want to keep downing so many chemicals everyday. And my appetite only seemed to get bad after I started. It's been helpful because I haven't binged out on anything but it's a little weird to barely be hungry at all, and I don't want to gain just because I didn't eat enough. Plus, I really need to learn how to make time to cook myself healthy foods. I don't plan to drink shakes for the rest of my life.

I don't mind that I didn't lose today because I didn't gain, and I'm also pretty sure that my cycle is due to come up in a couple of days, so I'm not worried about it right now. Plus, I lost 7.2 lbs in 3 days, and I met and passed my monthly goal of 8 lbs. I'm not complaining or stressing.
Today was an active rest day so I did some light cardio. Heading to bed early tonight (for real!)

First Day of Spring 10-lb Challenge!

2012-02-14T07:04:00.000-05:00

The first day of spring is March 20, so I have joined a challenge to lose at least 10 lbs by then!

Anyone else want in? Even if you aren't on SparkPeople, I will be weighing in every week on Tuesday to track my progress and you can participate, too!

If you are on Sparkpeople: Friend me! My SN is curlybri88

Spring Challenge

Starting Weight: 153.8 lbs (no loss yesterday, but no gain! And my cycle is approaching)

Goal Weight: 143.8 lbs
Cross-my-fingers-hope-I-reach-it-goal-weight: 140 lbs

Fitness Goal: Successfully completed half of my training towards running a 5K by April 16

Nutrition Goal: Prepare and eat organic meals at least 5x/week (I am going to drop the Impatient Diet once I finish the 7 days for the sake of clean eating)

My progress will be tracked on my Weight Loss page.

The spring bunny wants YOU!

Happy Singles' Awareness Day!

2012-02-14T06:51:00.002-05:00

To all my other single ladies -

Don't worry if you don't get one of these:

(source)

No box of chocolate = no fatty! :)

Almost Forgot!

2012-02-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

Since I've lost 8.2 lbs, I've met my monthly goal, which means I get to spend $25 on beautifying!

I had planned on buying more KCCC to restock as my reward but now that I've switched my regi for the winter, I won't need it for a while.

I think I will pick up some new eye- and brow liners. And some new tweezers.

Impatient Diet Day 4 Wrap-Up

2012-02-13T19:27:00.000-05:00

Weight: 153.8 (-1.8 lbs) - I have about 10 more pounds to go before I move from "obese" to "overweight" on the BMI

Total Loss: 8.2 lbs (7.2 lbs since starting the diet on Friday!)

Over halfway done with my Impatient Diet week!

The weight is definitely falling off, but it seems like my appetite is as well! Not sure why I'm just not hungry - it took me 5 hours to drink 4 ounces of my morning protein shake. I just haven't been hungry. I would think that was a good thing, but I really don't know what to think. I don't want to undereat and gain again, but it's been a struggle to get in all my 1200 calories since Saturday. And I know not eating enough can lead to malnutrition.

Maybe it's just me getting over my cold?

I really don't know.

Maybe my shake has an appetite-suppressing ingredient in it?

I'm not going to worry too much about it right now.

But as soon as the scale starts going in the other direction, I may have to drop the diet for a while and get back to eating normally, when I was almost always hungry (although that didn't really result in any weight loss either...)

I don't know what to think right now. And I'm too tired to, anyway, after that bout of insomnia last night.

Good night!

PS. Tomorrow marks the start of a challenge I joined on Sparkpeople.com to lose 10 pounds by the first day of spring on March 20! I thrive in challenges. I have to keep challenging myself and working towards a goal to keep myself motivated.

New Winter Regi

2012-02-13T01:07:00.000-05:00

Since I discovered how quickly I could do a Curlformers set this weekend, I've decided to incorporate them into my regimen for the remainder of winter.

As much as I love daily cowashing, I would like to save my "wet head" for the warmer months. Plus, I'm pretty sure the constant stretching would pretty much eliminate SSKs.

Friday Night: Cowash with Kinky-Curly Knot Today Conditioner, leave-in, and baggy overnight

Saturday morning: Without rinsing, detangle and set hair on Curlformers; airdry and remove; style in a bun using Kinky-Curly Curling Custard to slick edges (will wear a stretched braid-out occasionally on a weekend)

Massage scalp and moisturize twice daily with KCKT. Seal with whatever oil is around when needed.

And that's it...

I will still henna and trim per my warm weather regimen (except I'll henna on the first Friday before the cowash), but other than that, this is what I'm doing until it hits 65 degrees consecutively for a week!

Praise Report: No Longer a Super Fatty!

2012-02-12T20:14:00.001-05:00

By getting down to 155.6 lbs, I am no longer in the morbidly obese category of the BMI!

Given, I am at the top end of the obese category, but still...

Now I'm just a regular fatty :)

Hallelujah!

Impatient Diet Day 3 Wrap-Up

2012-02-12T19:20:00.000-05:00

Weight: 155.6 (-2 lbs)

I'm not surprised since I ate so little yesterday, but I know better than to continue!

To remedy what happened, I ate my chewable meal at breakfast to feed my body immediately, to rev up my morning metabolism, and because I was hungry as hell.
I still have yet to do the treadmill... and I don't think I will... lol. Just Dance is too fun!

Breakfast (don't judge): 3 crockpot wings, 1 c broccoli, .5 c mandarin oranges

"Lunch": Shake - 2 scoops GNC powder, 1 Tb pb, .5 c coco milk, 1 c broccoli, water

"Dinner": Shake - 2 scoops Designer Whey powder, 1 egg, 1 pkt oatmeal, .5 Tb agave
Total Calories: 1204

TBH I planned to give this up after 7 days, but it actually fits my lifestyle. It solves the issue of not having time to cook 3 meals/day, and since I barely get to sit down to eat, sipping all day is convenient instead of starving until I get home.

My main objection is consuming powdered chemicals. Also, this 7 days was great financially because I already had the powder. Continuing to buy them would cost a lot since I need both GNC AND Designer Whey for correct calories, carbs, and fat. GNC is $45 and only lasts 16 days; Designer Whey is $30 and lasts 20. That's $150.
My grocery budget is $200. Perhaps I could make it work, but I don't want to limit the healthier whole foods on my list since I primarily buy organic (which is also expensive).

Also, about drinking shakes forever...
I'll watch more Easy Way Show to see how she maintains (since I should be in maintenance mode by fall). I wouldn't mind having a shake every morning for breakfast, but I don't want to have to drink 2 everyday.

Off to find a cleaner powder that's cheap, lasts 30 days, and is comparable in nutrition.

Update: I found a powder here I'll probably try - looks cleaner than many others I've seen after looking up ingredients. I'd still need 2, but that puts my price at $119 with shipping, leaving $81 more for other grocery items. Plus, I only really need 1.5 per month, so I'd only have to buy 2 every other month.
Oh, how I love the internet!

Off to bed early! Night!

Compression Suits...

2012-02-12T16:13:00.003-05:00

So, after reading about compression suits on Easy Way Show, I think I am going to invest in one for my problem area - arms!

It seems like no matter how small I get, my arms are still huge.

Maybe this can help reduce them some. Even if I only got like a 1" reduction, I would be extremely grateful. My arms are currently 16" in circumference. Ridiculous.

Having big arms as a woman is a nightmare when shopping for tops, jackets, coats, etc. And on top of that, I'm a busty girl. In essence, my upper body is just too much.

I'm always embarrassed when not wearing sleeves that at least are 3/4 length. When I have mustered up the courage to go bare-armed, I am often asked if I am a boxer, or a weight-lifter, or even if I could pick up a bus (yeah... someone actually asked me that).

And forget about those cute button-downs with the button closure on the sleeves. I'm always forced to wear those open. And I can never find a blazer that fits me perfectly because the arms are always too tight.

These may seem like trivial things, but after you've worked hard to fit into a size small, having to go up a size or two JUST because of your arms, or not being able to wear styles you love after so much effort is extremely frustrating. Just when you think your days of dreading the fitting room are over, here come the whale arms to ruin it again.

I'd mostly come to terms with my arms because I am overweight, but in a few months, when I lose this weight, I refuse to not be confident with my body after so much work. I refuse to continue to hide.

So... here's the one I'm looking into buying. I'm not interested in a full compression top because as annoying as they can be, I do like my boobs and I want to wear my own bra. This should also help with back fat by the looks of it. It has very high ratings, and I figure that I will give it a try for a month. I'll wear it 24/7 except in the shower.

Obviously, compression suits only do so much, so I will surely continue doing push-ups and other arm-toning exercises, as well as continue with my weight loss efforts. I am just hoping the compression will help actually shape my arms.

Maybe this protein powder is making me high...

2012-02-12T13:26:00.003-05:00

...because I have so much energy today!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Impatient Diet Day 2 Wrap-Up

2012-02-11T22:38:00.000-05:00

Weight: 157.6 (-1.4 lbs!)

Today was not a good day... :(
Not because I overate, but because I barely had an appetite and definitely underate.
I planned to finish my lunch shake (I only drank half) and eat dinner when I got home from an event, but I didn't know it was going to last so long. I just walked in the door and am just too tired to eat. I know the dangers of undereating, but I just don't want to at 11:00 PM... especially when I am about to fall asleep.
Ah well - luckily my workout didn't cause me to sweat too much today.

What I had today:

"Breakfast" (I put it in quotes because it usually takes me about 3 hours of sipping to get through the whole thing - I cover and put them in the fridge in between gulps): Shake made from 2 scoops of Designer Whey French Vanilla Powder, about 8 oz water, a handful of ice cubes, and a packet of maple brown sugar instant oatmeal [~ 400 cals]
If you have a less-than-flavorful protein powder, adding that instant oatmeal might be something you want to try. Delicious!

"Lunch": Shake made from 2 scoops of GNC Total Lean Swiss Chocolate powder, 1 cup spinach, 1 Tb peanut butter, 1/2 cup coconut milk, water, and a handful of ice [~ 330 cals]
I only had half so I guess it's close to 165 cals.

565 calories is no bueno. I definitely will get my 1200 tomorrow.

HOTD: Braid-out on Stretched Hair

2012-02-11T17:32:00.000-05:00

No buns in sight today!

I achieved the style by doing a quicky Curlformer set with my Extra Long and Wide Curlformers, and then braiding the stretched hair for a braid-out.

The Deets:

My hair had been soaked with V05 from an overnight baggy, so I used that as setting solution for the rollers instead of rinsing.

I set my hair on 20 rollers in about 20 minutes using chunkier sections. I ran my Denman through each section to smooth before setting on the rollers.

(I was surprised that it came out just as smooth as when I do smaller sections that take an hour!)

I sat under the dryer for an hour, removed the rollers, and sat under again for another 15 minutes since a couple of the chunkier curls weren't completely dry.

I set my hair in about 22 braids using a mix of Ecostyler gel, conditioner, and olive oil. I smoothed and set the last 1.5-2" of each braid on blue cold wave rods.

I let it airdry for a few hours while I did other things, then sat under the dryer again for 30 minutes.

I oiled my hands with Uncle Funky's Daughter Glossy spray and removed each roller, unraveled each braid, and lightly finger-combed to hide the parts.

This style can definitely be achieved without heat by letting the Curlformers and subsequent braids air-dry, but I think it wouldn't have been ready until tomorrow morning, and I needed my hair dry for an event tonight.

The Spark, Chapter 2

2012-02-11T11:53:00.001-05:00

This chapter was all about vision and seeing the big picture, and focusing on how to make these come to fruition through goal-setting.

My vision for my future is to be a healthy, fit, confident, successful, loving, and happy woman.

In order to achieve those things, I must break them down into smaller, realistic, and attainable goals upon which I can focus.

I will break down my goal-setting in future posts, but today I am focusing on the part I am undertaking now - "healthy and fit."

In order to be healthy and fit, I have set the following goals for myself:

Long-term goal: Reach my goal weight of 117 lbs by August 1st.

End reward: $750 shopping spree for back-to-school wardrobe

Medium-term goal: Lose 8 lbs every month.

Monthly reward: $25 to spend on make-up, hair, or cooking gadgets

Short-term goals: Exercise for at least 20 minutes 5 times per week.

Prepare homemade meals to eat at least 5 times per week.

Speak positively about myself at least once a day.

Lose 2 pounds per week.

Weekly reward: Spa Day Saturday (eyebrows, nails, facial, etc at home)

Breaking the vision down into goals creates a game plan for achieving the vision, and a system of accountability to ensure that I attain my vision.

The Spark, Chapter 1

2012-02-10T20:31:00.001-05:00

Since Sparkpeople.com is at the center of my weight loss journey, I decided to go ahead and purchase "The Spark," a book written by the founder.

His story is amazing! He started the website with his OWN $5 million - a website that is free to use for anyone.

I've said a million times that I was born in the wrong decade, but I have been proven wrong every time. If I was this age in the 80s like I dreamt, I would have been living in a time period where my weight would have probably been more widely-ostracized (which would have probably worsened my depression), and I never would have gotten a chance to use so many free internet resources to get it into control.

Anyway, I can't give away too much of the story, but one of the focal points was the importance of getting up after falling - something I have constantly failed with in my weight loss journey.

I have accomplished so much this time around. Even though the weight loss in pounds hasn't been all that great, I know that I am a healthier and fitter person than I've been in years. And that's partly because of an increase in my own determination, partly because of the motivation I get from Sparkpeople, and largely because God has continually given me second chances and put me in the right places at the right time.

One trick that I learned about while reading was creating a "bounce back motto" that I can tell myself when I fall to ensure that I get back up.

Immediately, I turned to the Bible and found amazing words in Philippians.

"...But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

My bounce back motto?

Forget what lies behind -

Strain toward what lies ahead-

Press on.

Try making your own motto. I'm already in love with mine.
(I'm actually going to go to bed now... lol)

Impatient Diet Day 1 Wrap-Up

2012-02-10T19:07:00.000-05:00

Starting Weight: 159

Today was not bad at all!

I drank my shakes and got a southwest chicken salad for dinner.

The only thing I changed was the cardio. I ended up doing Just Dance for 30 minutes instead. 1 hour on the treadmill definitely did not appeal to me after work today, but I will probably do it from tomorrow on.

I did 50 leg lifts on each leg; I did 25 regular, reverse, and oblique crunches; I did 20 "girl" push-ups (my cheer coach would have had a fit if she saw that!); and I did 2 sets of 12 leg lifts on hands and knees on each side for some booty-lifting action.
I am catering my stength-training to how I want to shape my body as ImpatientDieter does: flat tummy, less love handles, slimmer arms, trimmer thighs, and lifted butt.

I feel pretty good, and didn't really feel hungry at all, even though I didn't have the 7 shakes.

We'll see how I weigh in tomorrow.
Off to a Nyquil-induced sleep!

Virtual Weight Loss Makeover

2012-02-10T16:24:00.002-05:00

Before: 159 lbs

After: 117 lbs

Make your own at www.mvm.com!

love.

2012-02-10T15:16:00.002-05:00

7 Days Left! (New Game Plan - Long Post!)

2012-02-10T07:30:00.000-05:00

Woooohooooo!

I never thought I would ever say that I did 30 days of consecutive exercise.

Really?

Me?

30 days?

Wow!

Anyway, today marks the LAST week of my 30 Day Daily Exercise Challenge and I couldn't be more proud of myself for not only sticking to something for 30 days, but to something I absolutely hated before!

Now, I really do enjoy working out.

The only thing stopping me from succeeding is this horrible eating (I should be A LOT farther along than I am), and it seems like no matter how hard I try, the eating never gets itself under control. I tend to binge on the weekends, and a lot of times, I will stay within my calorie range but will pick the worst foods known to man.

So....

I've decided to try out the world-famous (I think) ImpatientDieter's Partial Liquid Diet! Check her site here.

I have always wanted to say that I barely eat anything chemically-modified, but let's face it - I want to see the results of all of the hard work I've been putting in so it won't seem like those 30 days were for nothing. In essence, I am going to be an impatient dieter for a week before I get back into a clean, organic life that I hope will be a little bit easier to stick to if I actually drop some weight...

1-2 lbs lost per week would be great if I could actually stop deep-frying my way into the opposite direction...

Since I have 7 days left until the end of my challenge, I figured I'd try something else and see how it worked. I already have craploads of protein powder lying around here, and I figured it'd be a good time to use them up in these last few days.

Instead of the shakes she recommends (which are super expensive at $12/day), I tailored the diet to what I already have (and spent plenty on!), and to my lifestyle (there's no way I'm making 7 shakes a day or hitting the gym for 2 hours - and I'm a teacher so I never have time to sit down).

Britt's Impatient Diet

1200 calories per day

Breakfast on the go (8:00 AM): 1 GNC Total Lean Shake blended with either broccoli or spinach, peanut butter or coconut milk, etc - Just a random mix of leafy veggies and protein-rich foods I have around the house [~ 300 calories]

Lunch (11:00 AM): 1 Designer Whey French Vanilla Shake [100 calories]

2nd Lunch on the go - because I'm a cow (2:00 PM): 1 Designer Whey French Vanilla Shake [100 calories]

Dinner (ie "real" meal): A meal of lean protein, veggies, and fruit that will fill up the rest of those calories [~ 500 calories]

Snack: 1/3 cup sliced almonds [200 calories]

I will walk for 1 hour per day at my fat-burning heart rate of 60 - 70% (or, specifically, 117.6 - 137.6) [find yours here!] in the evenings after dinner around 7:30 PM.

I will do the same core and thigh exercises she lists, but will include some push-ups as well (she has the luxury of having naturally small arms, while mine are beluga-esque)

Starting Weight (smh - I'm going to blame it on the high-sodium high-carb diet I've had to follow these past couple of days with this sinus infection): 159

So, I lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks doing it the "hard" way. We'll see how well the easy way works for me.

2012: Going for Length!

2012-02-08T22:55:00.000-05:00

I rarely wear my hair down (and barely ever straight), but when I do, I am usually amazed at the length I have been able to retain, even given the setback I suffered.

This photo was taken December 2011.

As someone who has never had hair longer than shoulder-length (and was constantly told by my licensed cosmetologist that it never would get longer) growing up, having my hair creeping towards my bra strap is pretty mind-boggling.

You can't see really see the length because of my coat, but I can still tell my hair is really growing and falling where I've always hoped it would, but could never accomplish (taken January 2012)

My goal is to reach the strap by April, reach the bottom of the strap by August, and (God-willing) reach waist-length by my 25th birthday in January 2013.

It's very ambitious, but I'm going hard for length this year, which means protective styling out the wazoo (daily buns), massaging my scalp constantly (during near-daily cowashing), getting back to weekly deep conditioning and monthly hennas, and keeping my ends trimmed to cut down on splits and SSKs that lead to breakage.

I trim my ends every 2 months, and have aligned my trims to the Lunar Chart, focusing specifically on trimming when considered best for lengthening hair. I never had a reason to believe in the Lunar Chart - I don't think it's this magical tool or anything - but I also don't have a reason not to. I like having a set schedule for trims and I figured it couldn't really hurt all that much to test it out for the year.

Once I've reached waist-length, I plan to get my hair cut into a really cute shape so that I can feel comfortable wearing my hair out more often. But I just want to know that I can actually get to waist-length so that I know I can get there (and I plan to pay my old hair stylist a visit when I do).

My ultimate goal is to wear my hair in a daily wash-n-go and have it hang to about armpit-length, but I know I will have to wait a while for that. I plan to go full-out curly girl in 2013!

Sick... AGAIN!

2012-02-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is with me but I seem to get sick every winter at least twice a month. It's SO frustrating!!!!

This time (per usual), it's a sinus infection.

I found this lovely recipe for Hot and Sour soup while perusing my favorite crockpot site, which has been my go-to for draining sinuses since I tried it a few years back, but I didn't have the ingredients.

So, instead, I ordered a large helping of hot and sour and a side of steamed rice and broccoli from my local takeout. I'm waiting on it now.

Luckily, I was well enough last night to pre-plan my food for my sick day(s), so this won't put me off track (with the exception of going over sodium, which I can't really help when soup is involved).

Today was already a pre-planned Active Rest Day (hallelujah!), so I will probably just do a light cardio dance workout and some core training in between trying (and failing) to blow my nose and whimpering.

SN: I gave myself a good trim on the 6th per the Lunar Chart. I didn't measure how much or stretch my hair to do it but it looks like I cut off about 1/2". I never really care all that much about how much I trim because my hair definitely does better with trims. My ends thanked me, breakage is back to virtually zero, and I got rid of lots of those pesky SSKs in the process.

Sigh... 10 Days to Healthier Eating...

2012-02-06T16:16:00.001-05:00

I was doing well today until one of these popped up:

The calories weren't too bad but I just don't understand why I feel like I MUST eat something sweet. I know I have to learn moderation, and this is a good way to do so, but I really want to avoid sweets for a while.

So... back on the wagon. 10 days it is.

11 Days to Healthier Eating

2012-02-05T09:11:00.001-05:00

Since I have surprisingly been able to stick to something I hate for 18 days (exercise!), I thought I would try and make a new change that would aid in my weight loss efforts. I already know I have a struggle with eating well, so I am going to spend the rest of my 30-Day Fitness Challenge doing it. I already know I have the strength to be persistent - exercise is now a part of my life that I actually enjoy now after sticking with it!

I know that I am doing my body a world of good by working out but it seems like I'm undoing at least some of that by eating terribly. I started off eating well, but I've been wreaking havoc on myself for a while now - partly because I had been afraid to undereat, partly because I figured that working out gave me some sort of "license" to eat whatever horrible foods I wanted, and partly because I've been lazy lately with packing my lunch.

It seems like I do even worse on the weekends when alcohol, desserts, and fried foods are usually nearby. I wouldn't be surprised if I weighed the same as I did last week (if not more) because of the damage I did this weekend, despite the fact that I've been exercising.

So, I went from undereating (albeit healthy organic and clean foods) to overeating horrible foods.

But for the next 11 days (starting Monday), I am going to revamp my diet as follows:

No alcohol

No deep fried foods

No sweets (other than fruit!)

Mostly clean and organic foods that I prepare myself or more healthful choices when eating out (but only when necessary)

February Fitness Calendar

2012-02-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Active Rest Day = Awesome!

2012-01-31T14:21:00.001-05:00

As much as I (now) love working up a serious sweat and pushing myself to my limit, going for a less-than-strenuous walk (I went about 1.5 miles yesterday) was just what I needed.

I got a chance to get my body moving and active, warm up my limbs, and to read and think in my own silence.

It was awesome.

I decided to stick with the treadmill because it is just TOO cold outside. I'll look forward to the outdoor runs when I'm training for the 3.2 in April - although I don't imagine it will be all that warm then either...

Anyway, active rest days will definitely be apart of my exercise routine from now on.
It's a great way to stay active without putting too much stress on your body!

Book Review: Looking for Alaska

2012-01-30T21:10:00.002-05:00

Maybe it is because I teach in a high school, but I have come across so many amazing coming-of-age books lately that truly inspire me more than anything I ever read from Judy Blume or the Bronte sisters when I was growing up.

The net of phenomenal writers has grown considerably, and these smaller, unassuming, unpretentious, and non-verbose writings are some of the most beautiful I have laid my eyes upon. And as someone who studied what makes language ineffective or awkward or beautiful, it surely took me by surprise to read such books I have read this school year.

One of those such books is Looking for Alaska by John Green.

(source)

One reviewer likened the main character to Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye.

I HATE that book.

I think it is one of the most over-hyped, over-researched, over-digging-for-symbolism books I have ever read. I can't stand it.

So fear not - if you, too, did not like Catcher in the Rye, you might still like this book. This book, to me, accomplishes what Catcher in the Rye attempts and fails at.

Without giving away too much, the book centers upon this philosophical question that all humans ask: how do we get through (or out of) life?

And without being so forcibly (and superficially, in my opinion) rebellious as Salinger is with Caulfield, Green uses Pudge - someone to whom we can all relate - a quiet, sort of awkward kid on a quest for something more and exciting in life, who is directly confronted with one person who wholly changes him.

The dialogue and situations are mostly realistic and relatable (with a few that are a bit less than), but the real beauty lies in that question, and how the students go about answering.

It is an entertaining and eye-opening lens by which to view mankind - especially in adolescence - and I highly recommend it.

Day 12: An Active Rest Day

2012-01-30T13:36:00.002-05:00

So, while reading, I discovered a term called "active rest day" and definitely think I would benefit from doing this for a little while.

From what I have gathered, an "active rest day" is a day in which you still complete fitness activities, but ones that are not high impact so that they don't tax the muscles.

I know I need to give mine a break after going hard with 30-Day Shred, TurboFire, nonstop Just Dance, and that insane incline walk I did last week when I was supposedly taking things "lightly." It was a dumb idea for me to jump into doing high intensity exercises right away on a daily basis when I haven't worked out in years - my body was TRYING to tell me that the day after when I pulled my chest muscle but I ignored it.

I think I was so hell-bent on losing the weight that I didn't care. And now I'm paying for it.

To recuperate, I am going to participate in active rest days until Saturday, when I will jump back on Just Dance (I'm getting really good!). I've read that three days is a good amount of time for active rest, and I've also read that a week is a good amount of time. I figured 5 days would be a good in-between.

I've decided that my active rest day activity will be a 2-mile walk to and from the stadium near my apartment after or before work. I hate being cold but I love being out in nature. It's supposed to take about 40 minutes, so it's not too bad. Plus, I can walk forever, and once I put my music on, I'll really be set. And I'll get the benefit of saying I never stopped exercising and I walked 10 miles!

I just have to make sure I leave work at a reasonable time so it's not too dark before I get back home from my walk... otherwise I'll just walk on the treadmill for 2 miles (which is probably what will happen today since I have some stuff I have to do after work).
I will include an active rest day every week for the rest of the 30-Day Challenge as well.

Side note: Sorry about all of the weight loss talk. I will have more topics to discuss in the near future. This is just what I'm focusing on for a little while since it's been a lifelong struggle.

Sigh... Today Sucked Worse.

2012-01-30T07:18:00.002-05:00

Last Week's Weigh-In: 157.6

Today's Weigh-In: 158

Total Weight Loss: 4 lbs

I guess I should have just been happy with that mere 1 pound I lost last week.

I'm pretty upset about the gain, especially since I've been exercising everyday, but I can't say I'm too surprised. I know it's either one of these things, or a combination of a few:

1. God hates me

(haha... just kidding... I think...)

2. Starvation Mode from last week slowed down my already slow metabolism

3. Overexercising broke down some of my muscle fibers that need to repair in order for me to maintain my muscle mass, and in turn, help me to lose more weight

4. Overeating this weekend to compensate for last week's starvation (and NOT overeating healthy foods... I ate all of these this weekend: Chinese, Hibachi, hot dog, popcorn, movie candy, and went on a wine tasting...)

I'm not sure where to go from here.

I really want to continue daily exercising to meet my goal but I'm afraid of putting more wear on my body. Plus, I'm afraid to eat 1200 calories and NOT work out.

I'm going to fast and pray for guidance today (I know that seems counterproductive since I was just starving last week and suffered, but I need help!)

Today Sucked...

2012-01-28T17:56:00.000-05:00

... but I'm 1/3 of the way through my challenge!!!!

I have NEVER in my life exercised consecutively for this many days without being apart of a team or group sport.

As planned, I did Just Dance on my Wii, but did fewer songs than usual to give my body a break, especially since my shins are KILLING me (probably from yesterday's incline walk).

I'm really proud of myself! (To stay up to date on my weight loss and how far I'm into my challenge, click the "weight loss" page)

Unfortunately, today didn't go so well as far as eating is concerned.

I really don't think you can rebound from slowing your metabolism down in one day, but I did eat more than 1200 calories yesterday to try and begin the process of revving it back up.

And today, I woke up and was STARVING.

And I've been hungry all day despite eating.

I ate what I had already pre-planned but it just got to be so much. I ended up eating like 4 additional snacks.

The snacks themselves weren't too bad calorie-wise, but I am trying to eat organic and clean, and none of those were. But it was all I had in the house. I had already eaten all the fruit I had stockpiled this week.

The lesson: Clean out the processed junk and grab more clean, organic snacks when grocery shopping tomorrow!

My Digital Dreamboard

2012-01-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

I Made the Biggest Nutrition Faux Pas Ever!

2012-01-27T07:28:00.001-05:00

Okay, so since this is a journey, I am going to be honest with you all.

I know that the safe amount to lose per week is 1-2 lbs, but I honestly expected that if I worked out everyday, I could drop 10 lbs in 2 weeks easily. I had lost more than that by just eating a low-carb diet for 2 weeks, so I figured low carb plus exercise would produce amazing results.

I woke up this morning and I was extremely bloated. I had no idea why.

Unless I'm on my cycle, I never wake up this way. I am usually feeling empty and that is usually when my tummy is the flattest of the day.

I was pretty confused about it and curious to see if I had gained weight. I hadn't, but I was shocked to see that I had only lost 1 pound from Monday. Sure, any weight loss is a victory but I've been killing myself exercising at a high intensity and impact everyday! For someone who hates and can never commit to exercise, that is a huge thing, and I expected to be rewarded.

I also noticed yesterday that in trying to force myself to eat breakfast, I had to shovel down my food, and it was literally painful, despite the fact I was only eating yogurt, and I don't eat past 7:30 PM anymore.

So... what the heck? My body has almost 12 hrs to digest whatever I have eaten the night before.

Now, usually, when I see lackluster results in weight loss, I feel a sense of failure and give up. And I did feel that way for a split second. But instead, I decided to check in on Sparkpeople to see what was up. I had already been given an alert that I was overexercising, but I ignored it.

I was also getting a daily alert that I was not eating enough. I also ignored that.

In the past, I lost 12 pounds in two weeks by eating like 700 calories a day, so I figured eating a little more than that plus the exercise would make things awesome. So far, my average has been 863.5 calories per day. One day I only ate 560 calories.

Well, that may work for some, but I learned the painful truth today that this is not the case for me.

My undereating plus intense exercise is hurting me.

I didn't really believe in the whole "starvation mode" thing, but I think that was because when I was undereating on diets before, I wasn't exercising, and I led a pretty sedentary life.

I knew all the dangers of undereating and overexercising but since I've never combined the two before now, I ignored them. This basically showed me that my metabolism has slowed down so much, that it can't burn enough of my food for me to be hungry after 12 hours of fasting, despite the fact that I've been exercising everyday. That makes absolutely NO sense.

I don't know if a week and a day of "starving" myself makes that much of a difference, but now I'm not so sure. I've always had a slow metabolism, and I think that what I just put my body through definitely did not help.
I may be wrong or misinformed but everything I've read today and experienced over the past couple of days has really confirmed that I can't continue on this path.

I say all this to say - I am still going to exercise everyday. I have a goal and I want to meet it. But for the next few days, I am going to take it easier - maybe go for a 20-minute walk to give my muscles a chance to recover. I can't afford to lose muscle mass at a time like this! In addition, I am going to stop ignoring my nutrition alerts and start eating at a healthy caloric level. I think I mostly was undereating to make sure I wasn't going over a certain amount of carbs everyday, but I am giving that up as well. I think low carb only worked for me in the past because I wasn't exercising. Now that I am, I know I need more carbs.

My daily nutrition minimums (set by Sparkpeople) are 1200 calories, 135 g carbs, 27 g fat, and 60 g protein. This is what I will be aiming for everyday from now on.

Day 7: A Change (For Good!)

2012-01-25T18:23:00.001-05:00

Who knew staying late at work would pay off?

Yesterday, I stayed way too late and was pretty pissed about it when two of my coworkers bum-rushed me into a workout!

And guess what we did?

TurboFire (ie Satan's workout)!

But even though that lady is trying to kill me, I got the best thing ever: a support group!

The initial workout high was wearing off around day 5, and I had prayed for some sort of help with getting through the next 25 days of consecutive workouts. Thankfully, I got my answer.

So I get a stress-reliever, a bonding opportunity with others going through my same workplace struggles, and a workout BEFORE I get home and have a chance to make excuses for myself.

It's just an awesome situation altogether. :)

Revised January Fitness Calendar:

So, I've left the Shred for Fridays, when I know I and everyone else will not want to stay late. Plus, after reading this post, I am definitely going to focus mostly on cardio for a while (although the Shred does have a cardio component) to battle my at-risk belly fat.

Weekly Weigh-In

2012-01-23T19:49:00.002-05:00

Starting Weight: 162 lbs

Today's Weight: 157.6 lbs

I haven't weighed in a couple of weeks so please don't take this as I lost this amount of weight in a certain amount of time because I honestly don't know what I weighed. But in any case, I've lost 4.4 pounds since the beginning of my journey. So this is like a new starting point. :)

I was going to do measurements and all that but I really don't want to. I'd rather just go by the way I look in the mirror and how my clothes fit.

Here's me "modeling" the new dress I bought:

I was going to take the picture in the morning when I weighed myself but I decided to wait until after I ate because I usually get the "food baby" bloat, and that seems to be when everyone wants to take unflattering pictures. I figure that if I'm comfortable when I look the biggest during the day, then I'm good.

The areas I'm most concerned about are my tummy, love handles, and back. I used to care a lot about my arms but I've grown to accept them since I'm genetically predisposed to having large arms. Even when I was skinny for that 1.5-year period, my arms were still larger than normal. I can't afford the surgery so no need to cry about it.

I know there's only so much a few weeks can do and I may not even end up wearing it but I still need a dress for an event I am going to in March. So maybe within 8 weeks (as opposed to the 3 and some change I have left until my trip in February), I might be more inclined.
But who knows?
The sad part is that I've seen people wear clothes like this in the street weighing the same amount I do now...
... Ma'am...

Anyways, I still have some very cute, more forgiving outfits lined up for next month so I'm not at all worried, and I'm not going to starve myself to get into it. But I am definitely happy that I snatched it up before it goes out of stock, and it really gives me something to work towards :)

This is Day 5 of my 30-Day Daily Workout Challenge. I took on the Shred once again, only with a lot less intensity to avoid any more muscle strains.
To be completely honest, I really did NOT feel like working out today - this was the first day since day 1 that I didn't want to work out. I had to keep telling myself that it's only 20 minutes.
Mama said there would be days like this...

HOTD: It's My Birthday!!!!

2012-01-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

I had put my hair into a lazy pineapple last night, fell in love with it, and decided to add some random elastic headbands, some bobby pins, and one of my beautiful wooden combs from Younikness to turn it into this super curly updo.

(Please excuse my lips... I always overestimate their size and glop on too much color, and I forgot to wipe off the excess before the pics)

Mini Girl + Maxi Dress (after the jump)

Here's what I wore to my birthday brunch.

My camera remote decided to go out so I did the old-fashioned take-a-picture-in-the-mirror so I could show my dress. Not the best quality but you get it...

I LOVE maxis (especially this dress that I got from Target for like $20)!!!!

I did have a celebratory sliver of cake and a glass of champagne today but I didn't overdo it on calories, fat, or carbs today - in fact, I'm UNDER because I pre-planned by going to the menu online and picking out the salad I'd eat. It was a Cobb and it was yummy and filling.

And I woke up this morning to work out before going out for brunch.

I'm liking the new more health-conscious me :)

In other news: I got the dress I was talking about in this post in the mail yesterday. I will model it tomorrow and use it as a way to measure my progress. I don't know if I will feel comfortable enough to wear it in February, but I'm definitely going to try!

3 Days In!

2012-01-21T12:06:00.000-05:00

I'm only 3 days into my 30-Day Daily Workout Challenge, but I am really feeling good. My chest feels a LOT better than it did yesterday, and I did about 27 minutes of Just Dance today.
I started (once again) tracking my food in Sparkpeople, and I can't deny that it's extremely helpful.

Since I'm lounging around (it's my birthday weekend - don't judge!), I created a fitness calendar in iCal with all of my goals up until December 31 of this year.

What I want to accomplish

Run a 5K without walking

Swim 1 mile without stopping
Do the Brazil Butt Lift

Try out either TurboFire or Insanity (I'm scared! Lol)

Anywho, here is the plan for the rest of the month:

I've decided to drop the Bikini Challenge because I don't want to have an end date.
I want to be fit for life.
I don't want to kill myself to reach my goal in June and then completely drop it afterwards like I have so many times before.
Instead, I want to focus on fitness and nutrition for the rest of the year.

I'll be weighing in on Monday, January 23 and every week thereafter instead of everyday :)

Jillian Michaels tried to kill me...

2012-01-20T17:30:00.003-05:00

... no.

Seriously.

I did the 30-Day Shred for the first time in a LONG time yesterday.

All went well and I expected the normal soreness this morning.

What I didn't expect was to strain my chest muscle!

The paaaaaain!

It's terrible!

Needless to say, I gave my body a rest from the intensity of the Shred today and did Just Dance instead. I am supposed to Shred Monday-Friday, and JD on the weekends, but I didn't want to push my chest too far (I've had a previous chest injury), but I also didn't want to skip a workout. I already know that once I allow myself to skip one, it'll be a wrap for me.

I already messed up on my low-carb diet today when utter starvation + free chocolate and ramen noodles came into play at work. (It was a LONG day)

I can always get back to eating well, especially since I've begun using my crockpot again, which makes enough that I can microwave my meals for the rest of the week. But it's always the exercise I struggle with committing to. So I am NOT going to miss a workout under any circumstances until I've completed my 30-day cycle. I'll take a break for my trip, but I'll be right back to it when I get back!

Lesson Learned: Pack more healthy snacks for work!

I'm Back!

2012-01-19T17:51:00.000-05:00

I've been gone for a while, and I missed you guys!!!!

After I got over my stomach flu last week, I came back to a horrendous amount of work (I'm talking 13-hour days at that cursed school), and then I went out of town, and just got back on Monday. I have been pretty busy this week but I got a chance to talk with one of my line sisters last night, who is pretty much the best at nutrition and fitness, and was able to get re-motivated despite how tired/sick I have been.

There are 30 days until a birthday trip I'm taking with my friends, and I REALLY want to wear this dress:

(source)

Skimpy AND white?
The nerve.

But alas, the heart wants what the heart wants. And my heart wants - NEEDS - that dress!

I started 30-Day Shred today, and restarted eating a low-carb diet (hallelujah). I am also cutting out most of the chemicals in my diet in favor of organic foods that my body can naturally process. I am also going to try out not eating after 7:30 as well.

Today, I ate Greek yogurt with two Tb of organic granola and 1 organic brown egg for breakfast. I ate two clementine oranges for lunch, and am about to eat a mixed organic spinach salad with organic miso ginger vinaigrette and curry chicken masala I made in the crockpot. I am still looking for some low-carb lunch options, but I wasn't that hungry today.

I'm not sure what I weigh now, but I will check-in after my cycle - I guess getting sick pushes it back? I know it's TMI, but has anyone else had that experience?

The plan for now is to do the Shred on Monday - Friday, and then Just Dance on the weekends. This will take me over the 30 days because it will take me two weeks to do one level instead of 10 days, but I don't mind.
Once I'm finished, I will probably pick up training for the 3.2 in April, and after that, will probably start swimming for the summer, since it's one of my favorite ways to exercise.
Once it gets colder, I will probably pick up the Shred again and move from the beginner mode to the advanced. After that, I will probably do it again and increase my weights.
After that I will pick up something else -- in the back of my mind, I have always wanted to try P90X, but I'm definitely not ready for that anytime soon.

I always have trouble committing but I am trying to make daily exercise a habit, so I am going to make sure I do it everyday for at least the next 30 days to build a routine. The workout is short, so I really have no excuses, and I think 20 minutes a day is the perfect amount of time that I can set aside every single day for the rest of my life.

As far as making 2012 my year, I have been slacking a bit but I am better off than I was. I am still faithfully tithing but I am finding it hard to get in that 1 hour of daily study. Surprisingly, the DVD I ordered has still not arrived, so I will have to check on that at church on Sunday.
In any case, I will definitely continue to work on this in the future.
I usually try to get a prayer in to and from work (about 30 minutes roundtrip), but I really do need to be getting taught so I can get to know the Word a lot better.

2012: A Year of Productivity!

2012-01-08T13:30:00.001-05:00

I perused my church's online bookstore and found a number of resources that I can use for my daily devotional hour with God. Perhaps someone might find something for them there, or be inspired to look for something at their own bookstore/media center.

I will be purchasing the following CDs or DVDs:

The Princess Within

Depression: A Cause and A Cure

Conquering Lust

Healthy Eating

Hearing the Voice of God

Let's Talk About Sex

Transitions

The Power of the Spoken Word

The Power to Conquer Sin

Not all of them are explicitly having to do with love, relationships, and self-esteem, but I believe they are related to how I view myself and/or how I view and interact with others. Each of them have at least 2 sermons, so I believe I will take about a month on each, listening daily, taking notes, reading, and gaining insight. I am one of those people that can listen to, watch, or read the same thing over and over and get something different every time.

I am definitely starting with The Princess Within - self-esteem is my biggest struggle, and one I may need to spend a lot of time on. I could just go to the actual store to pick it up, but I'm still sick... :(

I will be back with anything I feel is particularly pertinent after I watch/listen.

6MBC: Week 3 Wrap-Up

2012-01-08T13:06:00.001-05:00

It's time for my weekly check-in for the 6-Month Bikini Challenge!

Starting Weight: I weighed in last Sunday at 157 lbs, but I guess it was because all of the eating and drinking from NYE hadn't caught up with the scale yet, because I weighed in on Monday at 159.2 lbs and I did NOT eat 2.2 lbs worth of food between Sunday and Monday morning - I was too busy recovering to really eat.

Because of this, I decided to detox with lots of raw fruits and veggies, broth, and water to try to move all of those horrible decisions out of my colon (I know - gross), and I weighed in on Thursday morning at 156.6 lbs.

Unfortunately, my body decided it wanted to detox in another way - I caught the stomach flu that same day.

So, originally I thought that the liquid diet I was put on, paired with all of the glamor of the vomitting would actually help my weight loss efforts (hey, I'm just being honest). However, now that I have stopped doing that and have been put on a pretty strict high-carb, high-sodium diet (soup, ginger ale, crackers, bread, noodles, rice, etc) to help settle my stomach and combat the extreme dehydration I experienced, I am pretty sure whatever I lost the first couple of days is back plus more. I am not allowed to eat fruits or vegetables (and when I tried, I greatly regretted it afterwards).

I retain water like a balloon (I usually gain about 5 lbs on my cycle), so the increased salt is basically a death sentence for my weight loss journey, and I've already discussed the horrors of high-carb diets on my waistline.

I haven't weighed, and do not plan to until I am able to eat normally again, which I hope will be around the middle of this week. Unfortunately, the middle of this week will also be right around the time when I start gaining my cycle weight (my weight gain starts about 3-4 days before my cycle), but what can you do?
The joys of being a (sick) woman.

2012: A Year of Increased Productivity Pt. 4

2012-01-08T12:48:00.001-05:00

The last, and final point Rev. Hilliard made is not necessarily the hardest of the three for me, but is particularly hard for most people while in the midst of such hard economic times.

Discipline to be Intentional in My Willingness to Give

I think that a lot of people can get a little tight when the collection plate comes around. For some people, this is just a matter of misplaced values (you can spend $475 for those D & G glasses, but can't give back what is commanded of you in the Bible from the One who blessed you with the means to buy those glasses?), but for others, this is a legitimate struggle. This is especially true if you live in an area with a high cost of living, such as the Washington, DC metro area, where we reside. Our "hood" costs more than mortgages elsewhere. Seriously. My brother has an entire house and pays $300 less per month than I pay for my current apartment, and my apartment is a deal for this area. When I was actually living in DC, I was paying almost twice as much as he pays.

With all of the bills that everyone faces on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, it can be hard to write out that 10% check to tithe to God. Moreover, many people are weary of giving money to the church because they are unsure of where the money actually goes. Especially if you have a pastor that drives an Aston Martin and owns multiple properties, and is in a different expensive suit every week, while you find yourself trying to dress up that same shirt and skirt you own for church.

Rev. Hilliard didn't really touch much on this, but I think they are legitimate concerns, especially in times like these.

Personally, I think that if you find the pastor described above preaching in a rickety old building with the doors coming off the hinges with no space for the growth of the congregation, offering no Biblical instruction to you outside of Sunday service(s), with no financial support provided for ministries or outreach programs, I would strongly question his or her motives and would definitely consider visiting another church.

I feel confident when I give my tithes because I know they are going to the betterment of not only myself and my church, but of other churches and people affected by our outreach programs. I can get instruction on the Word any day of the week, and I can see the continuous work my church is doing to save lives. That 10%, while hefty, is not only in line with what God commands of us, but to me, is necessary in helping my church continue its work.

But like I said, 10% can be a lot, and I am not taking that lightly. However, I grew up with parents who faithfully tithed every week, and gave me money so that I could tithe until I began getting my allowance and could do so myself. Basically, it was always viewed as important, and is mostly second nature to me. I know that is not the case with everyone, but the only thing I can say is that I want God's favor, and I know I have to be obedient.
Moreover, beyond tithes is the additional money given as an offering above that, as well as the pastor's love offering. which is the source of the pastor's income at my church. This is where Rev. Hilliard spent a good amount of time, since giving the 10% is pretty self-explanatory and is merely following God's commandments.

He told us that our offering is something upon which we decide. We determine how much or how little we give. This is really where we have to examine what we value, and why we only offer $5 but spend $20 in lottery tickets (for example, and I'm not trying to offend anyone but...). There's no way to tell someone how much they should offer, but he did tell us that in his experience (which he relayed to us in multiple stories) was that he offered all that was possible on his salary, and found that he was exceedingly blessed.

If we take the time to intentionally give, the Bible shows that God will intentionally raise someone in a position of power or influence that can bless us.

That night alone, the congregation gave over $80,000. I was one of the ones, though I watched online, that gave an offering. I submitted my online offering when the congregation placed theirs on the altar.

This was on Thursday night.

On Friday morning, I received an email that I was being nominated for a scholarship for full tuition and fees plus a monthly stipend for the Masters program I will be starting in the fall.

Now, I haven't received the scholarship, but I found it too coincidental that the head of the program deciding upon whether or not I receive the scholarship was also my organization's advisor while I was an undergraduate, and was someone with whom I worked closely for two years.

Really, God?

I don't know if it works that quickly for everyone - I don't even know if I have the scholarship, and won't for another two months - but I was in awe. I intentionally gave, and someone in a position of power and influence blessed me, just as Rev. Hilliard said.

I don't know how this can fit into me finding love this year, but I do know that I plan to be intentional with my giving from now on, even if my means for giving reduces in the future.

2012: A Year of Increased Productivity Pt. 3

2012-01-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Sunday, loves!

So, to continue with the series, the second point Rev. Hilliard discussed in being intentional about having God shower his favor upon us is one with which I also struggle greatly.

Discipline to Maintain an Intentional Regimen for Worshipping God

Now, don't get me wrong here - I have never had an issue worshipping God, but I always wished to do so quietly, and without drawing a lot of attention to myself. As someone who grew up in a Baptist church, seeing this on a weekly basis, was definitely not unheard of:

(source)

This phenomenon, commonly known as "shouting" at many churches, involves those catching the Holy Spirit and subsequently losing control of their bodies, tongues, etc.

I'm not going to lie - this scared me when I was younger.

I watched people run around the entire perimeter of my church building shouting "Hallelujah," people falling onto the floor, and people flapping their arms and doing the two-step to that same song every Baptist church I know plays at some point:

When I think about Jesus,

And what He's done for me;

When I think about Jesus,

And how He set me free;

I can dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance

ALL NIGHT!

Again, don't get me wrong - I was involved in some sort of instructed dance ever since I was 4 or 5 years old. I LOVE to dance. Moreover, I have always known how blessed I am and have embraced the magnitude of Jesus' sacrifice for my sake. But for some reason, the dancing, the "shouting," the whole enchilada seemed unnecessary to me. I thought it was very possible for us to worship quietly, and it be just as effective. Shoot, it was an accomplishment for me to even raise my hands in worship. I figured that was all I needed.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Rev. Hilliard told us that our worship is supposed to demonstrate a "respect and awe for God that [we] will not give to anyone else."

He gave the example of quiet worshippers (like myself), who will rarely make a peep in church, but will sit in a football stadium and shout our heads off for a group of people that not only do not know us, but have not done anything to significantly impact our lives.

True.

Honestly, however, I didn't feel as convicted on this point until I talked to one of my friends the other night that asked me what I thought about clubbing as a Christian.

When I was growing up, the club was like that secret garden that you longed so heavily for, but couldn't unlock until you turned 18. And once you did, you were in that thing every weekend, living it up, so pressed to be in this "exclusive" group.

And the dancing? I would dance up on ANYONE. I wasn't shy, and I didn't care. If one of "my" songs came on, I would let out my squeal, rush to the dance floor, sing along, and grind up on whoever decided to come up.

Am I perfect? No.

This was a long time ago, and I have since moved on.

However, it did occur to me that I would do ALL of that for a song that would probably be calling me, as a woman, some unsavory word, from a musician who didn't even know I existed and wasn't impacting my life, and for some random no-name guy that was just trying to feel me up.

Really? And I can't even move my feet for Jesus?

I am not saying I will be the one running around my church (my church has grown into a megachurch now - I'd pass out before getting halfway around) or falling on the floor, but I can suppress that little voice inside my head that tells me my halfway, mediocre worship is good enough for Jesus. The very best I can give Jesus would never be enough for all that He has done for me. If I am to show a respect and awe for Him that I give no one else, I cannot look at my raised hand as an accomplishment anymore. The least I can do is to ignore that voice and give Him all the praise He deserves.

2012: A Year of Increased Productivity Pt. 2

2012-01-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

Rev. Hilliard told us that if we wanted God to move for us in one area of our lives, we must do three specific things, one of which I will explain in this blog. He said that these things would take discipline, and I immediately held my breath.
Discipline is something that I used to have, but something I have been lacking as a whole for a really long time (how else do you explain the yo-yo dieting, the fickleness with my hair prior to finding my most recent regimen, etc). I am always big on making plans, but I almost always fall through. I don't know why. But I do know that if I want 2012 to really be my year, I have to make some changes.

Discipline to Respect the Word of God

Rev. Hilliard explained that respecting the Word of God provides our vision for living. Respecting His Word allows us to fine-tune the ability to hear God's voice - something I know I need help with. There's nothing worse than talking to someone who you feel is not listening or responding (and I know - I'm a teacher!) It occurred to me that perhaps I felt that God was not listening because I have not been listening.

I don't know everything in the Bible, but I do know enough to know that I have been ignoring a lot of what I do know. I know I am only human, but I still know better, and I know that I can be better. If I want God to move in my favor, I have to know His voice.

(source)

Before I even begin trying to learn more about His word, I am going to correct the things that I already know are in opposition with it:

I will rejoin my church congregation, or visit another congregation when I am away from home every Sunday. God is very specific in saying that Christians should fellowship with each other apart from personal devotions
I will attend or participate in some sort of Bible study with someone who can teach me about God's words every week
I will remain celibate until marriage, and sober for the rest of my life. God is specific about sex before marriage, and although I have already messed up, I can make better decisions from now. Additionally, God is also specific about drunkeness. It's definitely not often that I have overdrunk (mostly because I'm usually too busy to go out or to waste a couple of days trying to recover), but I know it's not in His will to be drunk at all. A glass is fine (as far as I've read), but drunkenness is not
I will stop overeating. While He does talk about gluttony being wrong, my biggest conviction is turning food into a god, which is even worse
I will stop using profanity. He talks about how powerful our tongues are, and as someone who is a student of language, this should be a no-brainer. I also understand the importance of profanity as a linguistic expression, but I would be kidding myself if I really thought I used it solely for that purpose. I am careless with my tongue in general, and that has to change

Rev. Hilliard challenged us to spend one hour a day respecting the Word of God by focusing on Biblical teachings in that area we want to develop. I am going to find teachings on relationships, love, and self-esteem and devote an hour each day to reading and learning.

In order to do this, there are things that I will have to give up, because I can hardly find an hour in a day to do anything. So, I will be removing myself from the haircare forum to which I am addicted to make more time for myself and my relationship with God, as well as turning off and putting away my phone (which I NEVER do) during that hour.

Maybe this is an ambitious effort, and will require a lot from me, but I am being intentional about turning my life around.

2012: A Year of Increased Productivity Pt. 1

2012-01-06T11:22:00.000-05:00

Typically, I would not consider catching the stomach flu a blessing (except for all the weight I'll probably lose from the vomitting and liquid diet I am on...), but when Rev. I.V. Hilliard stepped onto the stage as the guest pastor for my church's revival and said this would be the year we would be in the right place at the right time, I think he was right.
If I hadn't had the stomach flu, my principal wouldn't have freaked out about finding me throwing up in the front office bathroom, and wouldn't have called and asked my mother to take me to the emergency room, which landed me at my parents' house for them to nurse me back to health. And only because I was at my parents' house did my mother wake me up and make me come downstairs to watch the church revival online - something I definitely wouldn't have done on my own. Lately (I'm ashamed to admit), I haven't been going to church or Bible study regularly even though I grew up in my church and have always loved my pastor even before my church became a megachurch. But there was absolutely no chance that I would have left work after a long day to go on a Thursday night, and doubt I would have made the effort to watch online at my apartment.
But I was in the right place at the right time to receive a message that really changed me.

Every year, people say that *insert year here* will be their year. I even found myself saying that when 2011 began. Newsflash: it wasn't. Or at least, it wasn't my year because I didn't achieve the things I specifically wanted in regards to one area of my life:

(source)

Don't get me wrong - I was exceedingly blessed this year. I got a job for which I was not qualified and subsequently discovered true happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. Because I got this job, I now know that I want to focus on pedagogical research (something I did in undergrad and loved, but somehow wasn't smart enough to realize).
However, at the same time, 2011 is when I was at my highest weight, felt perpetually lonely, and was also the year that brought companionship to every one of my friends. Except me.
To some, these things might be minor or superficial, but they do affect me. Not to the point that I can't function or realize that I am blessed, but just enough to make me feel "less than" in the back of my mind - something I've felt my entire life, and something I am really not willing to feel anymore.
Of course there are always more important things, like world peace or solving poverty, but for me personally, self-worth I'd have to say that there is no worse psychological feeling than inadequacy. And I'm tired of letting other people or myself convince me that I am inadequate.
Love is something that has always been so important to me, and I don't think I've prayed for anything for as long as I have prayed for love. I remember saying my first prayer about love when I was 8 or 9 years old, and since then, have only found love once in my life.
I couldn't figure out why I was praying so hard and wishing so hard and was feeling like God was ignoring me.
Rev. Hilliard told us to pick that area of our lives that needs growth, and to be intentional about having God bestow His favor upon us in that area. I've prayed for love but I never really focused my Bible study or learning on love. I was never intentional about finding the answer outside of my seemingly one-sided conversations with God.

2012 will be my year to find love. Not only in the form of someone else that can compliment me in that perfect way, but love for myself. I have never fallen in love with myself, but this will be my year to do so.
If anyone is interested in the details of that message and how I'll be applying them to my life, I will be publishing subsequent blogs in a series. Hopefully someone will be as blessed by it as I was.

DETOX!

2012-01-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

(source)

Since I did such horrible damage during the holidays, I'm going on a 5-day detox tomorrow.

Nothing special, really. Just raw fruits and veggies, veggie broth, herbal tea, and LOTS of water until next Sunday, when I'll probably break out of the detox with a little soup and a light serving of meat at dinner. I'll then restart with the original diet plan next Monday.

I'll update as the days go on, but I don't think I'll have much of a problem. Once school starts, I barely have any time to cook and eat (which is why I was eating so much fast food). I just have to make sure I have plenty of fruits and veggies on hand so I don't feel tempted to drive to Chick-fil-A during my planning period, like I had been doing before.
I'll do some light strength training and definitely some Wii sessions while I'm detoxing.

I will go back to using my crockpot as my main method of cooking next week. It requires hardly any effort, and I can make my food while sleeping, and eat for a week off of one pot.

But that won't be until next week.

Apples, strawberries, and carrots ahoy!

HOTD: WNG Puff

2012-01-02T18:45:00.002-05:00

Did a WNG yesterday, pineappled overnight, and pulled it into a puff today while I lounged around for the last day of winter break (wah!)

6MBC: Week 2 Wrap-Up

2012-01-01T13:51:00.000-05:00

Happy January!

It's time for my weekly check-in for the 6-Month Bikini Challenge!

Starting Weight: I didn't weigh in until Thursday and at that point, I weighed 160.8 lbs (a gain of 2.4 lbs from holiday merrymaking; this is actually somewhat less than I felt I should have gained after all that eating!)

I loosely followed this diet plan.

The Good:

I fasted, prayed, and read my Bible on Thursday to refocus, recommit, and reset my hunger
I prayed and gave thanks pretty much everyday
I worked out in my home on Friday morning

The Bad:

I snuck in a 160-calorie generic Almond Joy bar on Friday night

The Ugly:

I ate Christmas leftovers Monday - Wednesday
I didn't weigh-in Monday - Wednesday, which could have influenced my decision to follow the plan a lot sooner and could have resulted in more weight loss, putting me closer to my goal
I didn't weigh-in this morning after I lost all my good sense at this NYE hotel party last night - I ate and drank like there was no tomorrow, and then went to McD's for breakfast to get something greasy in my stomach (I'm STILL recovering)

Thoughts:
Holidays are like... NOT my thing. I definitely was fine until Saturday night, and that's when all hell broke loose. On Saturday morning, I weighed 156.6 lbs, and was hoping to start this week off at 156 or less.
Way to bring in the new year, right?
I am, however, not taking any regrets with me into 2012 so I will just chalk it up to my last "hoorah," and learn from my mistakes.

2 things that will change:
1) I am officially done with drinking more than one glass of wine or champagne or one mixed drink in one day, and I refuse to drink anything again except MAYBE for my birthday later this month, and not again until after my weight loss journey has ended. Overdrinking ALWAYS leads to overeating for me. I just can't do it anymore.
2) I have yet to follow the plan to a T. This upcoming week, I am following this plan. NO exceptions.

Sunday's Weigh-In (not at the normal morning time and after all the NYE damage): 157 lbs
Total Loss: 3.8 lbs (Only God knows how...)

Next Week's Goal (same as last week's): 155 lbs

Desires for 2012

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Happy 2012!

(source)

I'm pretty much done with making resolutions, so I am just going to list what I desire for myself for this year.

Get active in some kind of ministry at my home church while still living in my current apartment, as well as when I go back to school in the fall.
Continue to greet every morning with a smile.
Continue budgetting, tithing, and saving every month.
Continue caring for my hair the best way I know how in hopes of reaching MBL by December. I will incorporate sealing after every wash and continue bunning to maintain my ends.
Get healthier! Make better food and fitness choices. This is always on my list and I have yet to truly get this under control.
Speak more encouragement into my life instead of pessimism.

2011 Resolutions: Year in Review

2011-12-31T12:00:00.000-05:00

As 2011 comes to a close, I thought I'd revisit the resolutions I made last year....

(source)

1. Go for a run or swim 200 times this year.

I didn't stick to this at all. SMH. However, I really am aiming to at least jog during the 3.2 Run for Remembrance this April. I'll have to determine how I am going actually make it happen.

2. Buy NO new products until I clear everything out and do my yearly inventory restock beginning in August.

I think I did stick to this for the most part. I don't recall buying anything new from January to August, and my old stash is pretty much gone!

3. Plan to wear my hair in protective styles all year except for up to three weeks when I straighten in April, August, and December and actually STICK to this plan.

I don't exactly remember the beginning of the year, but I do remember wearing faux buns and then those mini-braids that caused my setback. And I've been PSing in buns pretty much 99.9% since June, so I'll say this was met.

4. Try to limit desserts to once a week.

Yeah...

5. Create a budget and stick to it.

I actually did this! Ever since getting my full-time job in August, I have been on a budget and have yet to ask for any financial assistance from either of my parents, even my softy ol' Daddy. I've even bought THEM stuff with my own money for the first time. :)

6. Pay at least $100 per month towards credit card bill to eliminate debt and limit credit card usage to absolute emergencies.

I paid off my CC in September and now use it for bills that I pay off right away with money from my checking account just so I can use it continually enough to establish more credit, since I had absolutely none prior to getting my CC.

7. Learn to cornrow!

Nope. But it doesn't matter. I wear my hair in a bun everyday anyway. I'd like to learn some day but it's not as important now that I don't wear wigs as PS anymore.

8. Work on procrastination.

I've gotten a lot better, but I'll definitely have to keep progressing.

9. Be better about staying in touch with friends.

I'm WAY better with this than I was this time last year. I still have a long way to go, but I think I am on the right track.

10. Work on being a nicer person.

I think that because I am actually happy and have been consistently happy for longer than ever in my life, this became very easy to me. So much so, that I was awarded "Most Cheerful/Spirited" at the school Christmas party and my coworkers can't believe that I was definitely a straight up b**ch for a lot of my life. I'm still not super nice, and I'm still blunt and honest, but I'm definitely not the same person I was last year, and I truly thank God for that.

11. Limit drinking to once every two months (or 6 times a year). I think I drank more like once a month this year, but that's WAY better than what I was doing before, when I was drinking like once a week or once every two weeks.

Hide Your Hair Challenge!

2011-12-30T22:12:00.002-05:00

Along with my 6-month Bikini Challenge, I am also planning to "hide" my hair from January 1st to June 30th along with other ladies on the haircare forum of which I am a member. The point of the challenge is to protective style (protect your ends!) to retain as much of your growth as possible.

This isn't a huge deal for me since I wear buns on a daily basis, and I am allowed 3 passes to wear my hair out for up to one week.

I already know when my passes will be: for my birthday in January, for a formal ball in March, and at the end of my bikini challenge, when I'm treating myself to a beach day (who wants to wear a bun on the beach???).

Here's my starting picture for the challenge:

Goal is to get to BSL by the end of the challenge.

I will be cowashing every other night (on workout days!), sealing every wash day, eliminating the use of my Denman brush in favor of my wide-toothed comb, and bunning daily.
I also plan to baggy overnight with my plastic cap and satin bonnet while my hair is in chunky twists after every other cowash. I live alone - who am I tryna be sexy for? Lol.

I will stretch my hair on Curlformers and trim the ends in February, April, and June.

Anyone else want in?

HOTD: Day 2 Twist-Out

2011-12-28T13:13:00.000-05:00

Set my hair in twists using Crisco the other night, retwisted in 7 or 8 chunky twists last night. Here's the result:

Post-Christmas lounging is the BEST.

Happy Hump Day!

6-Month Bikini Challenge: Week 1 Wrap-Up

2011-12-26T12:47:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays!
It's time for my first weekly check-in for the Bikini Challenge!

Starting Weight: 162.0 lbs

I loosely followed this diet plan.

The Good:

I drank an average of 11 cups of water each day
I didn't overeat at mealtime (except for Christmas)
I ate a lot more raw fruits and vegetables than I have in months
I prayed for my journey and gave thanks pretty much everyday

The Bad:

My student baked me brownies and I ate one (but I did give the other one away! Baby steps...)
I only went to the gym once this week
I didn't weigh in 2 days last week

The Ugly:

I ate pecan pie, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy during the school's Christmas lunch
I had 3 donut holes, Popeye's chicken, and a 32-oz cup of strawberry soda one day last week
My coworkers and I went out for some "reindeer games," and we ended up each drinking half of a pitcher of beer
I nibbled through the entire Christmas dinner preparation, and I don't even want to get into the actual Christmas dinner!

Thoughts:

This is a lot of messing up in a span of only 7 days. Next week, I would like to have at least one less bullet under the "Ugly" and "Bad" categories. Thank God I still lost weight, which definitely lets me know that I was a worse eater than I originally thought.
I will be following this diet A LOT closer this upcoming week.

Sunday's Weigh-In (BEFORE the Christmas dinner, of course): 158.4 lbs
Total Loss: 3.6 lbs

Next Week's Goal: 155 lbs

My Take on the Lunar Chart (and Length Check!)

2011-12-21T00:46:00.000-05:00

Remember that post I created about the lunar chart?

Well, I decided to try it out this year because I was curious to see how it'd work out.

I dusted on February 19 during the full moon (which was breathtakingly beautiful by the way - I like knowing when there will be a full moon), an optimal date for beautifying.

Feb 2011

By March, I had reached APL (which I was supposed to anyway - no big surprise there)

Mar 2011

I did a dusting/small trim on March 21 while in mini-braids, which was actually a bad time to do so, since that was listed as a date for retarding hair growth. I didn't realize it until after I had cut, and did a face palm, because March 22 was actually an ideal day for cutting.

At the time, I didn't take this seriously at all. I figured I had cut so many times in the past and probably on days that weren't optimal for growth, so what difference would it make?

Well, it just so happened that a little while after that, I suffered a major setback and had to cut anywhere from two to maybe even four inches (I didn't measure) to get rid of ridiculously damaged ends.

Now....

I am NOT saying that I believe the Lunar Chart is completely responsible for my setback or growth, but it IS a bit ironic, no?

I decided to follow the Lunar Chart religiously for the rest of my trims for the rest of the year: a dusting on June 3 (beautifying), a cut to even up the hack job from April on June 27 (lengthening),

My bra in this pic sits all the way up at APL.

a good 1/2-1" trim on October 14 (strengthening) since I forgot to in August,
and finally, a trim today on December 21 (root work, winter solstice, and full moon).

Here is my hair now:

The purple line is APL; the green line is BSL.

Had I not had the setback, I was due to hit Midback Length this month.

Instead, I am finally past APL and on my way to BSL! I am confident I will hit BSL by late spring and hopefully MBL by early fall.
Honestly, I can't say that I contribute my current condition to the Lunar Chart, because there were days when I cut on a day for retarding hair growth, yet my hair still grew (duh!), and I can't say for sure that I didn't just experience a summer growth spurt to account for the growth I did get.
Honestly, I really just don't know.
I do, however, like having a schedule for trims and I adore knowing when there will be a full moon, so I will be keeping the chart handy, but I am no way treating it as a bible. I trim my hair every 2 months, so the chart helps me keep track.
Frankly, that I have any hair on my head after the horrendous abuse I put it through growing up is a testament to God's grace and mercy, and I will continue to be thankful to Him for anything my hair accomplishes.

6-Month Bikini Challenge: Day 1

2011-12-19T12:21:00.003-05:00

I started my challenge today!

Unfortunately, I weighed in higher than I originally thought at 162.0 lbs, although I am not too surprised because I usually gain weight during my cycle and I ate like crap last week.

This is the heaviest I've ever been and I will never see this number AGAIN!

I currently wear a size 10P in pants, and they fit a big snugger today than they did last week. I have never been higher than a size 10, and I will NOT move up to a size 12.

I went to my apartment gym this morning at 6:30 AM (this is HUGE for me!) to do some strength training, and will continue to do so at least once a week. During my second gym day each week, I will focus on intense cardio. Because I want to be able to run the 3.2 in April, I am going to be running for cardio to build up my endurance.

I prayed over my journey today during my commute. That drive is like the perfect time to converse with God! When the radio is off, it's just you and Him. It felt nice to have a conversation this morning. I'm sure I looked crazy at the stoplights when I was talking to what probably looked like nothing, but I didn't care (and thankfully, there weren't many stoplights... lol).

I am feeling very motivated and energized, and I hope that this feeling will last. I don't have a great track record with following through with plans (especially these kinds of plans), but I know how much I have to do it this time. I don't want to have to start this ever again.

HOTD (From Friday)

2011-12-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

Braid-out done on stretched hair from wearing in a bun all week:

Day 1

It blew up into this beautiful lion's mane-looking style that I wish I had pics of!

Then I tried the pineapple method for the first time:

Day 2

I'll probably do this again for my birthday next month.

Oh... Looky!

2011-12-18T15:21:00.001-05:00

While deciding on a portion plate, I came across this beauty!

(source)

Each of those cups has measurement markers and the whole thing comes with a lid and a book on proper portion sizes as deemed by the American Diabetes Association!

This is so awesome. It's quick, convenient, and portable. Plus it's microwave- and dishwasher-safe. Buying it now from here!

I swear, people think of everything. I was definitely born in the right time period :)

6-Month Bikini Challenge!

2011-12-18T14:54:00.004-05:00

I am starting a 6-month bikini challenge tomorrow! I got the idea from In This Skin blog.

I know it's usually a bad idea to start a weight loss plan during the holidays, but that heart attack feeling I had the other day is really making me want to buckle down.

Mine will run from December 19 - June 4. This is 24 weeks, and if I lose consistently around 2 pounds per week, I should be at my goal by the end of the challenge.

Last time I checked, I weighed 160.6 lbs and wear size 10 pants. My goal is 120 lbs and size 4. I'll do an accurate weigh-in on Monday.

My inspiration:

(source)

It's so refreshing to see someone that looks like me accomplishing goals and getting the media coverage she deserves. J. Hud was drop dead gorgeous to begin with, but now that she is at this weight, I could barely keep my jaw off the ground when I saw her new pics. She looks so radiant and healthy. She is the perfect size to me, and what I'm aiming for!

Our overweight bodies and healthy weight bodies (when I was a healthy weight) are remarkably similar with the exception of my huge arms and her pre-weight loss rack. I think she is one of the best role models I could follow! If she can do it with twice as much weight to lose as I have, I know I can.

Rules:

Pray over my journey every single day.
Weigh everyday (except for certain times per month) and record in my Excel spreadsheet. Record a weekly update on the blog, and a small clip bimonthly for my monthly video update. Record all food eaten everyday in my online food journal. Recording is key for me!
Make new weight loss goals at the end of each week for the following week.
Exercise at least twice a week (gym, walking, running, dancing, etc)
Ensure that I am truly getting enough water. This only became a problem for me lately. I love water and usually drink 10 - 12 cups per day so I don't know what's going on with me, but I am definitely getting back to my usual habit.

I'm going to start off with the Scarsdale Diet tomorrow to jumpstart a new lower-carb diet. I haven't yet followed it to a T (I mostly stuck with chicken for the meat), but it's a pretty great diet. It's definitely not one to stick with for life, but at least for the next 2 weeks, I'll have an easy plan to follow. Plus, I will get my body used to a lower intake of carbs, since I've practically been living on them since June.

I am going to eat a more balanced diet afterwards by using one of these:

(source)

Since diabetes and carb intake are major concerns for me, I will be buying the diabetes portion plate to use for eating once I finish with Scarsdale. This seems like a pretty simple way to make a lifestyle change. No special dieting or anything - just learning to eat the right amount by using the plate/measurements as a guide.

Praise Report!

2011-12-15T18:05:00.004-05:00

Just passing on the good news :)

T-Minus 8 Days til End-of-the-Year Length Check!

2011-12-12T20:40:00.001-05:00

This time last year...

December 2010

6 months later (after a huge setback)...

June 2011 - The top of this bra strap is APL (almost looks about the same length as December)

Since I just straightened not too long ago, I think I have gotten back to APL and more, but only time will tell.

December 20 is the day!

HOTD: Plopped Fro

2011-12-10T10:27:00.001-05:00

Plopped overnight in a cotton shirt with a little KCCC:

Happy Saturday!!!!

Book Review: Thirteen Reasons Why

2011-12-07T14:18:00.001-05:00

source

I’ve never written a book review before, which seems hopelessly hypocritical given the fact that I am always complaining about how my kids don’t read enough. I read so much on a daily basis, but rarely have time to read things of my choosing for enjoyment.

I had heard about this book before from a fellow teacher but only yesterday got a chance to wander into the school’s library and pick it up. I picked up the book yesterday around 1:00 PM, and just returned it for someone else to enjoy today at 12:40 PM. I began reading yesterday and was angered that I had to teach a class at 1:50 that would pull me away from the book. I read again from 4:00 – 5:00 before I clocked out. I was damn near devastated when I found out I had left the book on my desk when I got home, since I had planned to finish. I picked it up again today at 10:30 AM and I couldn’t stop – not to use the bathroom, not to wipe my tears – until I finished.

The book has a double narration between teenaged "good boy" Clay, and the recorded voice of Hannah Baker, who we found out has committed suicide a couple of weeks before the book begins. We meet Clay as he is sending off a set of audio tapes that Hannah sent out before she died, detailing thirteen reasons why she killed herself.

This book was one of the best books I have ever read in my life. I think it should be a requirement for everyone, especially in a time where bullying is so prevalent in today’s American society. But even if you were never bullied or never bullied anyone a day in your life, this book will touch you. And it will change you.

It lets you know that everything you do affects you and others around you – even the little things. More importantly, it reinforces the importance your life has not only on yourself, but on others.

If you read this as a story of someone finger-pointing and playing the victim, you missed the point completely. We are all victims, and we are all perpetrators at one point or another. And the worst perpetrator, for many of us, is staring back at us in the mirror.

I can go on and on about how beautifully it was written and how important the message conveyed should have on anyone who opens the cover, but until you sit back and read it and become engrossed in its words and get lost in her character, you will never know. This review, or any review for that matter, can do it no justice.

I urge you – implore you, even – to read Thirteen Reasons Why. It will change your life. I’m absolutely certain of it.

It's Over...

2011-12-06T17:50:00.001-05:00

It is with a horribly heavy heart that I am throwing in the towel on my vegan journey and as a vegetarian. As many people know, I am an avid animal rights activist and never planned to eat or even touch meat ever again.
Unfortunately, my body has decided for me, and at least until I get back to a healthy weight, I can't fight against it anymore. I woke up today with what felt like a mild heart attack. I can't keep this excess weight on my body any longer.

So why has it come to this?

1. My first run with vegetarianism when I was 16 ended horribly with me gaining loads of weight because I was not eating enough protein, and the only protein I was consuming was mostly soy-based since there weren't a whole lot of options back then, and I hated beans. I was told by my OB-GYN that I had to abandon the diet as the soy was raising my estrogen levels paired with the lack of overall protein consumption, both of which had caused the massive weight gain. So, the point is, to be a successful vegetarian, I would both need to eat a lot of protein, and avoid soy.
2. During my second run with vegetarianism when I was 17, which successfully lasted about 2.5ish years, I was able to avoid soy as much as possible by relying heavily on dairy products for protein. I still didn't eat too many beans, but I ate lots of yogurt, cottage cheese, etc to make up for it. I also was a bit more active than I am now (but not much).
3. During my most recent run, I was faced with multiple issues that I cannot seem to beat:

My lactose intolerance resurfaced, which meant I could not rely on dairy for protein (something I hadn't even considered when I was thinking of becoming a vegan!)
My intolerance to soy, obviously
But most importantly, a major infux in the amount of carbs I was consuming due to the fact that I sought protein in beans and low-soy veg-protein options

4. Carbs put weight on me. Point blank. I went on a low carb diet and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. No excercise, no strength training - just reducing carbs. If you google "low-carb vegetarian diet," you won't find many results, and only one of them was even remotely helpful. Even the Nutrisystem Plan I was on is a high carb plan. In addition, I already battle with an intense sweet tooth, and I am predisposed to diabetes and heart disease through family history. I am at an extremely unhealthy weight for my height (160ish at only 4'10"), and the woeful lack of a multitude of low-carb vegetarian options that are both soy-free and dairy-free is not helping me.

Meat, on the other hand, provides the protein I need with virtually no carbs, and being that I will always choose lean cuts, I won't have to deal too much with an influx of fat. But frankly, fat has never been a problem. It has always been carbs for me.
So, the only thing I know to do is to either try and lie to myself by saying I will be in the gym everyday to work off all of the carbs I eat (which is what I've been saying I'll do for at least 4 months now), or go a low-carb route and get my weight back down.
So, for now, I am choosing the latter.
I don't think I will ever eat red meat again, but I will be slowly introducing chicken and seafood back into my diet over the next few weeks.
It saddens me because more than anything, I feel like a hypocrite and that I have failed at standing up for my beliefs, but I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.
What I do know is that what happened this morning, when my chest tightened and the sharp pains surged through, will never happen to me again as long as I have any say. It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I care so much about animals, but I care about myself, too.
I'd like to think that once I seriously get started with my weight loss that I will be more active and can return to this lifestyle, but for now, I'm too scared to continue down this road and risk my life.
I will make a more-than-conscious effort to ensure I am eating free-range chicken and fish because that was a major concern I had in terms of animal abuse and negligence. It was a hard decision for me, but I have to do what's best for ME.

HOTD: Loungin'

2011-12-03T19:32:00.001-05:00

A New Twist on Cabbage & Cornbread

2011-12-03T16:02:00.001-05:00

1 cabbage, 1 onion, garlic, seasoned salt, soy sauce, and rice vinegar in the crockpot....

Extra firm tofu marinated in stir fry sauce and dredged in corn meal

Yum!

Reviews!

2011-12-03T15:07:00.001-05:00

The Quest Continues...

2011-11-28T21:15:00.001-05:00

... I feel like my entire journey has been about me trying to discover the perfect regimen for my hair. My initial stint with TCM didn't seem to be it; however, I have definitely experienced a good amount of length retention while cowashing.
So... I think I am done with shampoo for real (I'm going to be using the Shea Moisture shampoo as body wash... it smells so dang good!). I used TIGI Moisture Maniac conditioner for the first time about a week back and I LOVE it (Review coming soon - I owe you guys so many reviews... I am going to sit down and do them all this weekend)!
So I think the new regimen is going to be centered around this product. I'm thinking I'll cowash twice a week, using the Moisture Maniac as my leave-in under gel, and DC with it overnight every couple of weeks or whenever I feel like I need it. I think I will also go back to using henna on a monthly basis.
Sooooo... regi:
Cowash and shingle with gel twice a week (Once my hair dries, I put it in my daily bun)
Moisturize when needed with diluted MM in a spray bottle
DC with MM when needed
Henna once a month

So that equates to 3 products (once again):
TIGI Moisture Maniac Conditioner
Henna
Gel (still undecided - currently have EcoStyler in my hair since that was all that was at my brother's house when I was visiting. It works well but the real test will be when I rinse it out and see if my hair has dried out)

[I know, I know... I'm so fickle. I blame my military upbringing - can't stay anywhere or do anything for too long before moving on.]

It Bit...

2011-11-28T20:46:00.001-05:00

... I broke down and straightened last Monday.

Not the best pic but you get the idea!

Anyway, I resisted the urge to do a length check picture because I want to surprise myself for December's length check but suffice it to say that I am definitely back at APL and I think I have passed it, which means my hair is the longest it has ever been!

I still have those wonky layers but I will be growing and cutting those out AFTER I get to my goal length. I am still praying for WL by 25th bday (January 2013), but I am not sure I'll make it.

More pics from my most wonderful Thanksgiving break coming soon!

The straightening bug is starting to bite...

2011-11-14T20:31:00.001-05:00

Seeing all of the beautiful straight locks for the winter is becoming sooooo tempting!

And my best friend pulled my hair the other day because she was being nosy and told me it was getting really close to my bra strap.

I have no idea what "really close" means but I'm assuming I am at least back at APL in order for her to make that comment.

Anyway, I have been itching to straighten for a while even though I told myself I wouldn't until next December but I don't know...

The last time I "straightened" all of my hair was when I gave myself the crazy hack job in June:

I already know my layers are going to be utterly ridiculous but when I do actually straighten, I just plan to do a really silky press and feather the crap out of it.

Crazy layers + puffy, light press = gross.

Anyway, it's hard to believe that I could be close to bra strap less than five months later (the bra in this pic was super high and the strap was resting at APL, but I've since changed my bra and am wearing it in the correct position). Maybe I had a growth spurt?

I should have made her take a pic when she stretched it!

This WOULD be an ideal time to straighten since it's getting colder but I don't know...

Nutrisystem Vegetarian Plan: Day 1

2011-11-12T09:51:00.001-05:00

Breakfast: Nutrisystem Granola with 4 ounces almond milk, 2 Morningstar Farms vegetarian sausage links, 1 small apple
The granola was delicious!

I already know why I'm fat if this is a correct cereal serving because I would have filled that bowl with cereal. With milk added, it barely filled up a quarter of it!

I think I'll probably use 3 ounces of almond milk next time. It'll save me some calories and fat and I won't have to drink the dreaded after-cereal milk.

Lunch: Nutrisystem Fettucine Alfredo, 1 cup green beans
Doesn't look like much but it was actually quite delicious.
THAT is 1 cup of green beans. Can you believe it? I was even overdoing it with veggies!
And pretty much the entire meal fit into a plate I was using as a decorative charger that fits inside a bigger charger that I considered too small for my meals.
SMH. I have a LONG ways to go in learning portion control.
I was also supposed to have a serving of dairy or protein for lunch, but I saved it to use for my afternoon snack, which was...

Afternoon snack: A protein shake made with 4 oz of almond milk, ice, and 2 Tb of protein powder. I also had an orange, which I forgot to picture.

Dinner: Nutrisystem Thick Crust Pizza, 1.5 cups of green beans (I made a pot of green beans so I am trying to get rid of them... lol)
This pizza was decent. It reminded me of making a Lunchables pizza but it tasted a lot better. Not sure if I'd buy it again, though. The sauce was a little "meh."

Dessert: Nutrisystem Peppermint Cookie Patty.
Omg... so delicious!
It's like a York Peppermint Patty on crack. Soooooo good! I LOVED it.

Overall, I wasn't really hungry today. When I started to feel hungry, all I had to do was take 10 minutes (at the most) to put together a meal.
I didn't leave the house today so I am interested in how this will work when I'm actually out and about, but I know I can do it if I remember to plan out what I'll eat the night before.

BBB + TCM Update

2011-11-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

BBB Update

I cheated so bad this weekend because I used bands for every single one of my buns! Bad, right?
Ah well...
I've been eating breakfast and it's pretty great. I went to visit my best friend in Pittsburgh and she introduced me to the frabosk, which pretty much made my coffee the best part of my day. Once I decide I want to spend $30 on that puppy, I definitely will!
Now, my breakfasts haven't been all that great, but at least I am getting into the habit of eating it. I'm doing a total haul on eating soon (more about that later).
Baggying hasn't been done for a while because I haven't had the heat on really.

TCM Update

I've been following TCM for a while and like it but I don't feel like my hair is as moisturized as it should be. Breakage is reduced, though, so some part of this regimen is working. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm not manipulating my hair as much as I was when I was cowashing daily, though, not because of the products.
I'm ready to ditch the shampoo because it's nice and all but it has sodium chloride as like the third ingredient and that makes me nervous. Plus it doesn't make your scalp tingle like you'd expect from a rosemary mint combo! Disappointing.
Aussie Moist works great as a detangler - I mean, it's absolutely fantastic. But as a leave-in, it moisturizes for about 2 days, but then it's drying. So in order to get it out, I'd have to shampoo again, and washing every 2 days is just way too much.
I am thinking of going with the Shea Moisture Coconut Hibiscus Hold & Shine line (NOT the Raw Shea line... that stuff and my hair do NOT mix) and forgetting the cheapy products altogether. I've never used the shampoo before but my hair definitely liked the curl milk. The products are definitely more expensive but I already know the shampoo will probably last at least 3-4 months because I don't use much shampoo. It'll probably just be the curl milk that I'll have to buy every month.
I also really like the Suave Tropical Coconut as my cowash, so that will be here to stay for sure!
I just realized that my hair pretty much goes ga-ga over coconut (with the exception of plain coconut oil), so I think this combo of products should work.
So I think I'm going to go with the shampoo, the Suave as the cowash, and the style milk as my combing conditioner/leave-in. I'll probably still do this twice a week, because my hair just really likes water.
I'll update at the end of the week. :)

Tuesday Tresses: TCM [First Impressions]

2011-11-01T21:28:00.004-04:00

I just started TCM and despite the horrible start, I have to say that I am really digging this method now that I know how to do it correctly.
My hair feels pretty darn good, which I know has something to do with the cones in the Aussie Moist, but I like how those are sealing in all of the wonderful moisture I get from the Suave and the water from the shower.
I am noticing much less breakage and hardly any tangles at all. This could be attributed to the fact that I am actually sealing, and that I am definitely manipulating my hair a lot less than when I was cowashing daily.
One thing I will probably change is that she only does it once a week. She mentions that she tried it every 4 days but it was too much with spending all the time airdrying. I don't think it'll be too much for me, especially because my hair is absolutely nowhere near as long as hers. My porosity has changed drastically, but I still think I am a little on the porous side. With that said, I don't think my hair can go a whole week without being immersed in total moisture, so I will definitely be doing this twice a week - probably Sunday morning and Wednesday night.
Also, my daily buns haven't been as sleek as I like with just wetting my edges and tying them down with a scarf in the morning, so I think I will try applying a little bit more Aussie Moist to them and see if that works. If not, I might have to add gel back in to my product arsenal but it's not that big of a deal, especially since those other 3 products are less than $10.
I'll probably continue this for a while, especially while the weather is so cold, and commence daily cowashing again for the spring and summer (unless I get flip-floppy again...) but I'll wait another couple of weeks before I claim it as my fall/winter regimen.
Anybody else tried anything new that they're currently digging?

TCM Take 2

2011-10-31T21:42:00.001-04:00

Please ignore that breakout - my skin has been acting so weird lately!

MUCH better!

I decided to go ahead and give TCM another whirl today and I'm happy I did.

I shampooed, cowashed, and this time only put 3 pumps on each side of my head and I think that's my perfect amount!

My hair was a breeze to detangle and the conditioner actually disappeared into my hair like it was supposed to after twisting.

I didn't bother going through and defining my hair since it's going right into a bun tomorrow but I am super happy with how the twists look and feel. Even though they are still wet, I know they will dry very moist and soft, and the shine is pretty nice too (no flash was used in my pics).

I did also notice less breakage this time, but I'll wait a while before I attribute it to this method, since when I brushed on Saturday, it was the first time in a LONG time.

Warm Weather Regimen

2011-10-30T01:11:00.000-04:00

Current Regimen

(I keep it simple!)

Every 2 months:

Dust about 1/4" off ends

Monthly (first Saturday of the month):

Henna for at least 4 hours

Deep condition overnight with Bed Head

Weekly (Saturdays):
Deep condition overnight with Bed Head
Completely detangle hair with wide-toothed comb

Every 1-2 Days:
Cowash, condition, and finger detangle with Bed Head

Daily Style:

Buns using Kinky-Curly Curling Custard to style

Occasional Weekend Style:
Braid-outs using a little KCCC to set

Products:

Henna/TIGI Bed Head Moisture Maniac Conditioner/Kinky-Curly Curling Custard

NOTE: Once I have used all of the Bed Head, I will switch to Kinky-Curly Knot Today Conditioner.

TCM: Day 1

2011-10-29T13:30:00.001-04:00

Yikes...
My first day trying the Tightly Curly method was nothing short of a disaster. I took some pics along the way but I don't even want to post them!
All was well in the beginning.
I washed with the Rosemary Mint shampoo. I focused on my scalp as Teri said but decided to go ahead and wash the rest of my hair as well since I haven't shampooed in months and figured I would want to start fresh.
I then cowashed with the Tropical Coconut conditioner, which made my hair feel amazing! I wish I would have tried it a long time ago!
And then... enter the disaster...
Teri talked a lot about using lots and lots of conditioner for detangling and defining, and I think I took her advice a little too literally... lol.
I used 12 pumps of Aussie Moist on one side of my hair.
Not a good idea. And I knew it immediately.
I rinsed some of it out and thought that maybe I should use about half of that on the other side.
Still too much.

I went through and brushed my hair in tiny sections and at the end, my hair was still completely white, like I had dunked my head into Elmers glue.
After brushing, I went to try smoothing my curls into place but they REFUSED to define despite the fact that most of my curls naturally define on their own! I think it was because the ridiculous amount of conditioner made my hair tooooo slippery, and they didn't want to stick together and form.
I tried to wash and try again but my hair was just so oversaturated that I would have had to wash a few times to get it all out and I didn't want to put my hair through so much in one day.
So instead, I did a quick brush through and put my hair into twists to make a twistout bun for the rest of the week, and I will try again next Saturday.
One note: if you do not have a "strong" curl pattern, I really do not think this method will work. The conditioner works by separating curls into lots of individual units around your head. So basically, it just takes what you naturally have and separates them to add definition. It doesn't "boost" the curl or anything like that. I already know that I would have to always pin my hair back in the front since I have that section up front that doesn't like to curl up for anything and only makes waves with a heavy gel. If I had that all over my head, I know this method wouldn't work. If you don't have dominant curls, don't even set yourself up for disappointment.

The Tightly Curly Method Trial

2011-10-28T17:20:00.000-04:00

The Stats

Trial Start: October 29, 2011 Trial End: November 24, 2011

Current state of hair: Greatly improved porosity; more moisture retention but still experiencing some issues with dry ends; a bit of minor breakage that I'd like to see reduced.

Wash Day

Every Saturday morning

Time (start to finish): TBD

Products:

Shampoo: Suave Rosemary Mint ($2.00)

Rinsing Conditioner: Suave Tropical Coconut ($1.39)

Combing/Leave-In Conditioner: Aussie Moist ($6.50)

Could this be the new power trio? And for under $10?

Regimen:

Wash, rinse, and detangle in sections with Denman

Smooth individual "curl units" as Teri describes them, snip off any knots as necessary, and airdry

Set into two small buns for bed

Refresh in the morning with water and conditioner

Bun for the day

NO's:
No hennna
No deep conditioning (avocado mask)
No elastic band buns
No heat

This is the full TC Method with nothing added or taken away. I'll try and see how my hair responds. I will do this for at least two weeks even if I experience anything negative just so that my hair can get used to it. If any problems persist, I will stop to avoid a setback.

So....

2011-10-27T23:45:00.000-04:00

... being the book nerd that I am, I finished reading the entire Curly Like Me e-book (with the exception of the sections referring to babies and chemically coloring hair).

The verdict?

One of the best $12 purchases I have ever made.
I am definitely trying this out.
I am going to buy the products tomorrow.
I will report back as weeks pass.
Wash day will probably be Saturday from now on.

Why am I so dang flip-floppy?

2011-10-27T22:22:00.002-04:00

So, I FINALLY got my regimen down pat and now I'm thinking of trying another! Lol.

I don't know what in the world is wrong with me but I just cannot stop experimenting to save my life!

Maybe it's the inner army brat in me - can't stay anywhere/do anything for too long.

So what's the new regi I'm lusting after, you ask?

The Tightly Curly Method

I mean how can you look at this hair and NOT want to be like it????

source

I had read about it multiple times and have used her ingredients dictionary, but discounted the method because her hair didn't seem to be "tightly curly" at all from her pictures. This was before I realized she has like classic length hair that is weighed down. Duh! It hadn't occurred to me before for whatever reason.
Anyway, after reading a review of her book, I went to peruse her site and decided that maybe I'd want to try it out.
The only things stopping me are that: 1) I'd want to use smoothing cones to help define my curls so I wouldn't need gel but I don't use shampoo, and cones build up on hair; and 2) I really enjoy daily cowashing and would not do so everyday while following this method.

HOWEVER, I really, really love Aussie Moist and Suave Shea Butter conditioners and how they make my hair feel even though they're full of cones. Plus, they are cheap and are a lot easier to get than driving 30 minutes to the nearest Trader Joe's. And it would be nice to not have to use gel anymore.

*sigh*

I think I will bite the bullet and buy the e-book tonight and see if I want to try it out. If I followed this method, I would most likely do the method on a weekly basis. I'd use Suave Rosemary Mint Shampoo to wash, Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner to rinse, and Aussie Moist Conditioner to comb/leave-in. I'd probably continue to henna monthly and just mix the Aussie Moist with oils or whatever to DC after the henna.

It would be nice to only have 4 products in my cabinet...

BBB Update

2011-10-26T05:48:00.000-04:00

Breakfast: I have definitely been "eating" breakfast pretty much everyday for a while. It's in quotations because my breakfast usually consists of...

source

I've been mixing some coconut milk, ice, and water with 2 scoops of GNC Total Lean Swiss Chocolate or Cookies and Cream powder on a near daily basis. I'm actually pretty proud of myself, and ever since I began doing this regularly last week, I have seen a drop in weight - about 5 pounds (more about that in the new weight loss post I'm putting together for next week).
I still haven't gotten around to eating that so-called egg white omelet, but I am going to at some point! Maybe I will make the weekend the time to really "eat" breakfast.

Bandless Buns: Have yet to use an elastic band on my hair EXCEPT for when I banded my WNG from this pic, which I don't think really counts since I wasn't bunning. I let it out for Homecoming at my school, and I don't regret it one bit. :)

Baggying: I actually haven't been using much heat at all in my apartment (who knows why?!) so I haven't had the need to baggy much. However, when I DO crank it up, I definitely cover my head for the night. And if I decide to go longer between cowashing, I definitely baggy to make up for the loss of moisture.

My A-Z! :)

2011-10-24T12:00:00.000-04:00

A. Age: 23 to those who know me; under 17 to the trick that carded me at the movies [salty]

B. Bed size: Full, but who cares?

C. Chore that you hate: ALL... with a passion. Whoever I marry needs to make the vow to handle this.
D. Dogs: Really not a fan.
E. Essential start to your day: Warm shower, cowash, and a bottle of water on the way out.
F. Favorite color: Pink, but yellow is a close second
G. Gold or Silver: Gold
H. Height: 4'10". Yeah, I know.
I. Instruments you play: Clarinet and oboe proficiently; piano horribly
J. Job title: English teacher
K. Kids: One day, hopefully :)
L. Live: PG County!
M. Mother’s name: Jennifer
N. Nicknames: "Britt" or "B" to most normal people; "Wookster" to my mother
O. Overnight hospital stays: Extreme dehydration... go figure (see E)
P. Pet peeves: People who ALWAYS have to be right!!!!
Q. Quote from a movie: "You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it." - Napoleon Dynamite
R. Right or left handed: Right-handed

S. Siblings: An older brother, who was significantly less important until he contributed to the birth of my two reasons for life (nephew and niece)
U. Underwear: Boy shorts - lace or cotton - everyday
V. Vegetable you hate: Okra
W. What makes you run late: I'm hardly ever late, but if I am it's due to giving myself 5 more minutes to sleep about 6 times in a row
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Chest and dental
Y. Yummy food that you make: Best dishes pre-veg would be pot roast and fried chicken. Post-veg would have to be aloo matar and General Tso's tofu. Best desserts ever would be red velvet, pumpkin, chocolate, and peach cakes
Z. Zoo animal: Prairie dogs - love them!!!

HOTD: Naturals in Blacksburg!

2011-10-22T17:55:00.003-04:00

I'm wearing a stretched wash-n-go and my line sister is wearing flat twists up into a twist-out updo :)

Just Dance just saved my life!

2011-10-17T20:44:00.000-04:00

... or at least my workout blues!

Mastered S.O.S. on Just Dance 2 tonight, so I moved onto Hey Ya and it kicked my butt! But I've loved dancing since I was a kid so it's really fun and I love the challenge of trying to master the choreography.

Best.

Workout.

Ever.
PS. Ignore the creepy smile and disheveled hair and focus on the pools of sweat. :)

BBB Update

2011-10-17T11:44:00.001-04:00

Bandless Buns: Wearing the same low bun as yesterday. I'm hoping to think of some new ideas, but I'm so used to being lazy with my hair now! I am planning to use some new hair accessories so I won't look so boring on a daily basis, though. Guess I'll be whipping out my Younikness hair goodies this week. :)

It looks really small from this side... weird.

Breakfast: Well, that whole egg white omelet thing didn't work out this morning, but I did eat a granola bar. It wasn't much but it's something! I am definitely going to work on falling asleep a little earlier so that I can wake up and start doing better for myself.

Baggying: I baggied last night using a plastic cap. I used the glycerin-based Bee Mine Juicy Spritz I had left over from when I used to use it last year. I think it did an okay job, but my hair doesn't feel that moisturized, which might be because my cap fell off in the middle of the night, so my hair wasn't in the humid environment long enough. I am going to use it again tonight and secure my cap a little better. My hair definitely follows the "rules" when it comes to humectants: when I use them, it gets super moisturized when it's humid, and super dry when it's not.

BBB: Bandless Buns, Breakfast, and Baggying...

2011-10-16T17:46:00.000-04:00

source

So along with trying out 30 days of bandless bunning, I've also decided to challenge myself to two other things I think would improve my hair and overall health: breakfast and baggying.

I know that an important part of being healthy is to eat breakfast on a daily basis, and though I've tried in the past to no avail to try and incorporate this meal, I think now is the perfect time to do so. I didn't grow up eating breakfast because it made me sick to eat so early, plus the fact that I'm not a morning person just made it really hard to stick to. But I want to make some changes for my health and it's getting colder outside and who doesn't want a little something sticking to their ribs in the morning before heading out?

And naturally, along with the cold weather comes the increase in usage of heat, and subsequently, an increase in dry heat. To combat its drying effects on my hair, I am going to start baggying at least three times per week to make sure my hair stays moist.

So for the next 30 days (and hopefully forever for breakfast, and through the winter for baggying), I am going to hold myself accountable for these two as well.

I think I'll have an egg white omelet, fruit, and coffee tomorrow morning.

Bandless Buns!: Day 2

2011-10-16T13:28:00.003-04:00

Low wet bun:

I can really see the red in this pic... meh.

EZ Comb used, per usual :)

Won't be posting everyday - after all, buns at my hair length are pretty boring, but it's nice to do something for accountability for the first few days.

Dear Diary: The Never-Ending Frustration Comes to an End

2011-10-16T03:50:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: This post is extremely long. I wrote this more for myself, but decided to make it public just in case anyone else who is struggling with weight, self-esteem, self-worth, and self-perception might read it and feel a little bit more encouraged because of it.

I haven't been doing much in terms of weight loss lately. I have pretty much completely fallen off track, but I haven't fallen off the deep-rooted desire to get this thing right. Being that I have been larger for so long, I didn't know why I couldn't just be comfortable at my size, but something just bugged me about it - still bugs me really. I keep buying clothes and thinking of ideas for outfits for my dream size instead of my current size, telling myself that I will rock the sh*t out of those clothes when I get to that size.

But where does that leave me?

The same size as before. Except now, with a closet full of clothes that depress me every time I go in there. And a woeful lack of clothes I can wear in the meantime.

I think that a lot of this problem has to do with the fact that I am a romantic and the lack of love in my life has always been a source of inner turmoil. I grew up in a household with very loving parents with a ridiculously romantic love story, and have a brother who was married at 24 and now has his own family. I, myself, have only been in one serious relationship, and it didn't even make it past 7 months. In essence, I am the black sheep of the family. The one who was constantly exposed to love, but for whatever reason, could never really find my own.

I found that when I was smaller, I was much more comfortable with myself, I wasn't so desperate to have someone to love (or so lonely), and I felt that I got a lot more attention. I barely gave these things a thought. This was also the time when I entered into the serious relationship I mentioned before.

It occurred to me after having a frank, extremely emotional discussion with God in my car on the way to work that maybe I should separate that wonderful feeling of being in love from my weight. It seems that when I am happy and confident, I attract attention no matter what size. It just so happens that I was really happy when I was smaller - I could wear the things I wanted to wear, I wasn't always hiding, and I put myself out there more because I knew I was attractive. I was being told I was attractive. As shallow as it sounds, when you grow up being told constantly that you're fat and ugly and not worth a relationship (etc) by your peers, when you finally reach that point where you've physically broken out of that and are finally being told otherwise, it feels empowering. But that only lasted a couple of months before I regained my weight. It was a superficial "power" that left when I gained.

I've decided to remove that feeling of empowerment from my weight. I've given it too much my entire life and it's gotten out of hand.

This is not to say that I am abandoning my weight loss journey. This isn't really about weight. This is more about reclaiming the beauty I let shrink to nothing over the years.

I can't say that I am terribly confident right now, but I can honestly say that I am mostly happy. I've never been this happy for this long in my entire life.

And I have gotten a lot of attention - overweight and all - because of it. Mind you, it's not attention from the people I'd like (ie too old or too young men), and I still don't have any relationship prospects, but the attention is there nonetheless. But even the importance I've put on getting attention has diminished lately. I'm satisfied with where I am for now, and I'm happy.

Would I like to be dating or in a relationship?

Hell yes.

I still care so much about love and finding that one person, but I just feel like I can't do anything more about that right now. And I'm tired of trying to force my body into this roller coaster for the sake of hopefully finding someone when I go out that will find me physically attractive enough to want to pursue whatever. It's really pathetic, honestly.

So I am going to take control of what I can, which means removing this pressure that I have to lose weight before I put myself out there so that I can be appealing to someone who may or may not even truly care anyway. I've skipped sooo many things because I hadn't lost the weight I wanted to before going. I mean, I've skipped more events than I can count on both hands and feet because of it. I wanted to lose a whole bunch of weight before I went back for homecoming next weekend but I haven't. I mean, maybe a pound at the most. And I was contemplating doing a master cleanse to get there.

I'm just not going to do it.

I love food, I've always loved food, I always will love food. Attempts at eliminating it always end in failure. I'm not going to set myself up for it anymore. Just like I am going to stop buying clothes 3-4 sizes too small to try and "motivate" myself. Newsflash: I've been buying smaller sizes for years and has that motivated me? Not really. At least, not in the long term.

To make a long story short, I think I had to be shown that I cannot equate my worth with my weight, especially when it comes to trying to attract someone. To be completely and utterly honest, I'd prefer not to meet whoever it is God has for me at a super small size anyway, because as someone who constantly struggles with food and weight, I can't promise that I won't regain some after we've gotten to know each other. I definitely regained weight after I got into the aforementioned relationship (mainly because I had lost it through an extreme diet I abandoned as soon as I started eating non-diet food), but because he had known me most of my life, it didn't come as much of a surprise to him. But in a different situation with someone who only knows me by my first impression, I'd hate to be with someone who thinks I am one way and finds out down the road when I have to deal with the reality of my situation that I am not who they thought.

Sure, there are things about me I want to change, but in all honesty, I'm content with who I am for the most part. I have to get my emotional eating and binging under control. It is completely out of hand, and I can't let it go any longer because I don't know that my body can physically take it much longer. But while I work and pray on that, I am not going to go into hiding and avoid doing things I want with the people I love. So if that means I'll have to stroll to my homecoming weighing 20 pounds more than I did at graduation, so be it. I'll do it feeling fabulous in well-fitting clothes in which I am comfortable and confident.

I am not giving myself an excuse to be lazy or to become complacent at an unhealthy weight. However, I am going to stop setting myself up for continuous failure and then feeling worse for failing. I am going to do this thing on my own terms, and not for anyone else but me, and this is the first and only time that that has ever been true.

HOTD: Curlformers turned Romantic Ringlets

2011-10-16T00:54:00.000-04:00

Wanted to test out my new Long & Narrow Curlformers and since I am still trying to decide how I'm going to wear my hair for my school's homecoming, I decided to do a hair trial.

I cowashed as normal and divided my hair into 5 or 6 big sections. I generously applied the JML mango creme-Eco Styler gel mix (check previous post for details) to each section and then went through and applied the Curlformers, applying more gel and spraying with a bottle of water to dampen as needed.

I used all 40 Long & Narrow in the back and middle of my hair, and used about 12 Extra Long & Wide in the front when I ran out.

I figured this would look nice anyway since I didn't think I'd want a bunch of tight curls framing my face.

I sat under a warm dryer for about an hour while I surfed the web.

This is what it looked like after I removed all of the Curlformers. The mango gel mix gave me great softness and shine.

I went to town with fluffing and eventually realized that my hair was a little too soft to try and keep a defined, structured look.

I grabbed my paddle brush and began brushing out the curls and got this really soft, romantic ringlet that I immediately fell in love with. I LOVE the vintage/antique look.

I over-brushed the front (which makes sense, seeing as how those curls weren't as tight), so I randomly pinned it up.

I really love the look but it's really not what I'm going for for that particular weekend. This is a style I'd wear during springtime with a really flowy sort of dress - probably a white or pastel - but not with what I have planned for next weekend.

I'm going to do another hair trial early next week, and will see the results of that.

I am going to go pick up some more Long & Narrows so that I can get all of my hair into them because I think I want those ringlets all over.

I will set my hair using plain Eco Styler or Garnier gel for a much firmer hold and then separate for a bigger, defined look.

I'll show you then!

Bandless Buns!: Day 1

2011-10-16T00:22:00.000-04:00

Hair was previously stretched on Curlformers and put into an EZ Comb bun.

I've been using a mix of Jamaican Mango & Lime "No More Relaxer New Growth Creme" (saw it in Sally's and randomly decided to pick it up) and the pink Eco Styler gel to use for slicking. Mixing moisturizer with my usual Garnier gel yielded disasterous results.

I mixed about 1/3 of a jar of the creme with 1/2 of a jar of the gel.

This has definitely left my hair very soft, and not crunchy and dry like Eco Styler alone usually leaves it. It has a great hold, smells lovely, and I am thinking due to the mango and shea butters in the creme, cuts down a little on shrinkage.

Please excuse my lack of makeup plus my monthly breakout... ugh!

Not perfect - one side was a little lumpy and the bun itself was a little bleh, but still not too bad! I have a bit of fuzzy around my edges but I don't mind that much at all since my hair tends to be more resistant to laying flat when it's dry as opposed to when I wet bun (who knows why).

Maybe I can do this!

30 Days Elastic Band-Free!

2011-10-13T22:38:00.002-04:00

Daily bunning has been working out wonderfully but I've been trying to institute small changes to make sure I make the most of my new regimen. One of those things was purchasing a shower filter (more about that later), another was mixing moisturizer in with my gel (more about that later), and finally, I am going to try and dramatically decrease the amount of ponytail holders I use for buns to further prevent breakage.

So even though I just bought these....

... I am going to try and go a whole month without using elastic bands on my hair!

I took out my bun for today and put it into my EZ-comb, which I think I will probably be relying on for the month, along with some other things like plastic side combs.

My hair isn't quite long enough to use my spin pins while curly, but I do plan to stretch my hair into Curlformers a couple of times and will see if they would be more useful that way.

I think my biggest challenge will be that I'm very much used to a sleek and clean look, and while the tools I'll be using won't be creating the tension that causes breakage, that same tension usually gives me that smooth look I'm going for. I don't pull hard when I make my buns at all because I'm tenderheaded, but the elastic band just seems to give more support.

The pic above is not as sleek as I usually wear my buns (it is on the sides but not on top), which kind of bothered me at first, but not so much now.

So my challenge will be to figure out a way to make these lesser tension methods look sleeker through technique or to change my perception of my buns.

In any case, I am abandoning my bands for a while and will check in with you all along this elastic band-free journey.

W&D Wed: Caprese Salad

2011-10-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

Caprese salad is probably one of the easiest, most expensive-tasting dishes you could ever make.

As someone who does not eat raw tomatoes, it's really saying something that I truly enjoy caprese salad. It's made of literally a handful of ingredients and takes about 5 minutes to put together.

The beauty of the dish is that it is so simple, but the flavors come together so brilliantly that it's basically a culinary masterpiece. However, because it does contain such basic ingredients, it's absolutely imperative that said ingredients are the freshest, most quality ones you can find.

And since such quality can be found at my favorite grocery store (Wegmans), that's where I headed to pick up my supplies.

Take a vine-ripened tomato and cut into medium slices. Mine wasn't completely ripe and while still delicious, the full flavor would have been breathtaking if it was (plus I had to saw through the tomato - this wouldn't be necessary for a more ripened tomato). Make sure to leave your tomatoes on the counter to ripen and briefly refrigerate before creating your salad to ensure they won't get all mushy. You want a good balance between firm and soft.

Drizzle on a tsp or so of olive oil. I used Wegmans Black Truffle Olive Oil (quite possibly one of THE best creations ever).

Season with a few shakes of salt and pepper (don't overdo this).

Top with a few ripped basil leaves.

Cut up chunks of fresh mozzarella and top.

And that's it.

This tastes great with a riesling (and would probably be even better with a pinot but I wanted a bit of sweet). And as much as I love moscato, you probably don't want to go with that for this one. It's just too sweet (if that's even possible).

Henna Hangtime!

2011-10-10T18:49:00.001-04:00

Henna is satisfying in so many respects, but especially for those of us who constantly wear buns or puffs instead of twist-outs, braid-outs, etc because it reminds you that your hair IS growing!

It's definitely not the same length as straight hair but it's still pretty gratifying.

And with that said, I am rethinking the scheduled straightening session for which I am due in December.

I think that instead, I will wait until December 2012, which would make 18 months of no straightening!

We'll see how that goes... :)

FINALLY! (Updated 10.26.11)

2011-10-08T14:40:00.001-04:00

After being on my haircare journey for a little over two years, I have finally discovered my winning combo of products/techniques!

So excited!

My hair has done exceedingly well since I began regular cowashing. I was doing so daily in the summer, but have now lessened it to the nights that I work out (about 3 times per week). Sometimes I will just randomly cowash during my morning shower if I feel like it as well, in which case, I just create a normal wet bun.

Anyway, here is the process:

Cowash and detangle with Trader Joe's ~~Tea Tree Tingle~~ Nourish Spa conditioner.
Apply Jamaican Mango & Lime New Growth Creme and seal with grapeseed oil.
Stretch into 4-6 big twists and cover with a satin scarf/sleep on satin pillowcase overnight.
Undo twists in the morning and put hair into a bun or curly pony puff for the day, using a mix of gel and creme to lay down edges.

I remoisturize as needed, but this is usually not necessary now that I have begun sealing more frequently.
I also henna once a month and follow it with the avocado mask (check the last post).
I use a shower filter during every shower, and if I find that I need to rewet my hair for any reason, I either use shower filtered water, or bottled (I don't buy it specifically for this reason, as I don't support the waste associated with bottled water, but my mom tends to leave them over my house every now and then). Hard tap water no longer touches my hair.

And that's it!

It took a while to get me here but I can tell that it's working so well. My porosity has made an almost complete 180.

Products Used:

Trader Joe's Nourish Spa conditioner (I have switched back because I needed more protein)

Pink Eco Styler Gel
Jamaican Mango & Lime New Growth Creme

Henna

Ingredients for avocado mask (avocado, coconut milk, honey, grapeseed oil)

I Caved...

2011-09-25T03:05:00.005-04:00

So I've been saying I was going to get a shower filter ever since I began my new regimen, and I finally did today!

I bought the system with the best reviews and product ratings - the Aquasana (doesn't that sound like a girl from around the way though?) AQ-4100. It's the priciest one, but I got it for 30% off with the code NEWS119. It came out to a little over $59, which I don't mind at all since it lasts 6 months.

The water in my apartment versus the water at my parents' house is drastically different, and my hair feels much, much drier here than when I go visit them. It seems like my conditioner doesn't work as well anymore, yet works wonderfully most of the time at their house. I am aware that my DC water is harder than my parents' water in MD, and I'm tired of just letting things happen to my hair because I'm being lazy/cheap. And I don't want to cowash less because of this because I love the process and the results it's given me thus far.

Naturally, an increase in exposure to water would increase moisture, but an increase of hard water without the aid of a chelating shampoo could be counterproductive and after a few months, I think my hair is starting to fight back by being drier and more fragile and prone to near-daily breakage - a problem I haven't had in a very long time (and one I don't intend to continue to have).

Solution: regular tap water is a negative for my hair from here on out. I'll be using the filtered shower water for cowashing, as well as in my henna mixes. I'm done with the tap.

Until my filter arrives, which I hope will be sometime next week, I'm forgoing the daily cowashing. I cowashed, DCed, and detangled yesterday and twisted in chunky twists. I'm going to remove the twists tomorrow and put my hair into my usual bun, which I'll maintain until I wash again, AFTER my filter arrives.
I'll also be DC'ing with the avocado mask weekly until my hair gets back to its usual self, which I hope won't take too long. Henna next week should really help as well.

HOTD: Twist-Out on Lightly Pressed Hair

2011-09-23T21:21:00.002-04:00

Just In Case You Didn't Know...

2011-09-10T12:48:00.000-04:00

I'm a new member of the Pretty Natural Divas team!

I'll be blogging on Fridays about not only my job as a DC schoolteacher, but also about having my first full-time job period!

Hope you'll head over and check me out! :)

Back to the Henna!

2011-09-10T12:20:00.000-04:00

source

So, I had been using LUSH Hair Doctor as my monthly scalp/ayurvedic/protein/DC treatment, but then it occurred to me that I was going to be broke.

The jar is $13, and it easily covers my entire scalp, but the last time I used it, I ran out before it covered all of my hair.

That was last month.

Now I know that I am very heavy-handed with treatments because I want to make sure every strand and inch of my scalp is covered. I'm sure plenty of people could get by with just the 4 oz jar, but I make sure the territory is completely saturated, especially because I only do this once a month.

So that means that as my hair grows, I would have to buy more and more jars. And since I don't even have a whole lot of hair, I don't feel inclined to spend $26 or $39 or even more for this product every month.

I LOVED the product, so don't get me wrong. If it came in a bigger container, I would have no problem if it was even $20 as long as it really covered all my hair. But I can't justify spending so much, especially because I am on a long hair journey, and if I get to the point that I have to buy 3-4 per month, I'd have to shoot someone.

So over the past few weeks, I have been applying henna, hoping to find somewhat of a replacement.

Not a henna gloss - a full-out henna treatment like Curly Nikki's.

And honestly, henna does NOT provide the same experience (the wonderful tingling sensation of the peppermint oil, the soy protein, or the moisturizing lanolin or glycerin). However, henna does provide what I need for the health of my hair.

I used about 150 g of Jamila henna, 1.5 - 2 c green tea, and a nice squirt of honey.

I'll admit that I was scared because I didn't want my color to change since it already has this red tint, but I really wanted to know how it differed from a henna gloss.

HUGE difference!

Pros:

My hair and scalp was soooo clean. Despite the fact that I apply products daily, the henna took care of it, which makes me happy because I can continue to avoid shampoo even though I'm not using Hair Doctor anymore (haven't used shampoo since I clarified in June)
Full-out henna added so much weight and thickness to my hair that it is ridiculous! (I'll post a pic when I get a chance) My hair feels much stronger and more protected despite the lack of protein.
Tangles disappeared and hair stayed detangled, even after a several-day wash-n-go (I had a lazy week and made a WNG last about 4 or 5 days, which I have NEVER done before). No increase in SSKs, no matting, nothing.
My very tight curls in my crown (and everywhere, really) are looser and a lot easier to detangle. Detangle time has reduced to about 10 minutes even though I only detangle once a week.

Cons:

Full-out henna does leave my hair pretty dry afterwards, but after a honey-olive oil DC, I was fine.
It DID affect my color (but I am still on the fence about whether or not this is a true con). I know that henna can affect people differently. I think that because I have the red undertones, it really latched on and made them more vibrant. I didn't want this, but now that I have it, I think I kind of like it. My hair was sort of a naturally ashy reddish brown before. Now it is a more vibrant reddish brown. I still prefer black hair, and I know I can do an indigo but I'm far too lazy, so have decided to deal with what nature gave me, and at least henna makes it seem better.
Did not make my hair super shiny like so many people claim. Henna damn near makes Curly Nikki's hair sparkle. Not the case for me. I will say, however, that when my gel is applied, my hair maintains more of the shine from the gel, even after it has long dried.

So, basically, I will be using henna as my new monthly treatment. Even if my hair gets so long that I have to use 5 or 6 boxes (which I doubt - Curly Nikki only uses 2 and her hair is about the length I think mine will be at my goal), I'd still be spending less than I would if I were using Hair Doctor. Henna is about $3-$4 per 100g box where I live.

Note: Check out what the owner of Mehandi had to say about Jamila henna. I purchased mine a while ago and am using the boxed kind and not the one that was in the foil wrapper, and so I don't think it was affected. But I will be switching to a different brand once I run out, though I am not sure which at this time, since I don't plan to start buying online again.

Spark Me!

2011-09-09T04:02:00.000-04:00

So I have finally admitted that I've been trying to lose this same weight since April and it's getting super ridiculous.
I didn't want to get into anything too technical, and I wanted to take it easy and keep it simple with weight loss, but obviously that is just one area of my life that I can't leave to chance.
Goal is to lose 20 pounds by my birthday at the end of January, so I have rejoined SparkPeople (for probably the 5th or 6th time). I am going to maintain 1200 calories a day, and on the days I go over (which I am sure will be plentiful in the beginning), I have given myself a 200-calorie cushion, because that is about how many calories I burn doing Walk Away the Pounds.
So, I am going back to tracking calories, carbs, etc, and trying to make the best of it for now.
Btw, my new screenname is BCurly88 in case you want to be my SP buddy :)

Hmm...

2011-09-03T08:29:00.000-04:00

... looks like I may be partially veganing it up sooner than I thought.
Apparently, I can no longer ignore the fact that I get the itchies and respond with a tab of Benadryl when overindulging in dairy products.
I had a nice-sized plate of mac and cheese, and a huge scoop of ice cream with my favorite Grandmommy's cake.
Today I feel like there is a tiny village living inside my stomach.
And that village is in the midst of a tornado.
It seems as though sweet dairy is more of a problem then say, cheese and sour cream (but that my also be because I eat less volume when I eat those things, whereas I can say sayonara to a Ben and Jerry's pint over a course of a couple of hours). So anyway, I am giving up all dairy and sticking to almond milk with the exception of cheese. I don't eat eggs often, but I still plan to consume those until I find an alternative that I find most appropriate for me (yes, I know flaxseed can be used in place of eggs... meh).
What have you been forced to give up lately?

Stuck...

2011-08-27T10:40:00.002-04:00

So because of this hurricane that's supposed to come through, I am stuck in the house and bored!
What are you guys up to? Any special plans today?